sorry

so i'm watching bet's countdown of the top 100 videos of the year.

we're on number 55, and it's sorry 2004, by american idol's own ruben studdard.

i had never really listened closely to the lyrics of this song before. i thought that the 2004 was added to the title to maybe differntiate it from another song called sorry ... i believe i was wrong though:

Girl this is my sorry for, 2004.

And I aint gonna mess up no more, this year.

I'm 'a take this one chance,and make it real clear.

I'm sorry for May and I'm sorry for June (for real)

and I'm sorry for July (i am) in case I dont tell you.

August, September, October, November 'till your December.

I'm Sorry. (I'm sorry 2004)

now, is this supposed to be a sweet song? heck, if you have to apologize to someone for the whole YEAR ... you really don't deserve to be with them! no wonder the girl doesn't want you anymore .. who cares if you've apologized 1 million times ... if you did so much wrong that you had to apolgize not for just one whole month, but for 12 of them ... apologies just can't fix that, ruben - in your words, i'm sorry.

learning curve

so tonight i got together with the 204 girls (those are my waterloo homies, holding it down, ya know) for our christmas getogether (gettogether? get together? hmmm) ... we exchanged stories, laughs, presents and most importantly we had our cake and ate it too. good times all around.

anyway, we were talking about dating and guys - subjects that girls inevitably turn to - and my one friend told me that for christmas she was thinking of getting me he's just not that into you or whatever proper title it may have .. she resisted b/c she thought i might be insulted (rightly so). my other friend joined in and said that she too was considering getting me that book for christmas (she too decided not to b/c i might be offended).

do you think my friends are trying to tell me something?

(apparently it's supposed to be lighthearted and interesting and stuff ... or so they say)

it got me thinking though - re-evaluating my dating history.

i was out with some friends a few weekends ago, and bumped into this rather pretty boy. he was not the quickest boy on the block though ... so we will call him pdb (pretty, dumb boy - it works with and without the comma in there) ... anyway, when i was with my friends, pdb walked by and talked to me for a second. after, my friend asked me who the guy was. i said it was just the pdb (of course i used the full length name for the pretty dumb boy) and my friend said, "so just your type then"

was my friend right? had he pinpointed it? ... is the pretty dumb boy my type? i never thought that the pdb was my type. i've gone out with one pdb that i can think of off the top of my head and while i enjoyed the pretty part, the dumb part left me bored and uninterested. but maybe i'm just kidding myself, maybe i am into the pdbs ... or perhaps, i more just seek out the pdbs and that's why i don't tend to date any of them for an extended period of time.

am i just dating the wrong kind of guy? i never thought that i dated any one particular type of guy ... but maybe on some level they are the same. but isn't that what dating is about, to find who is right and who is wrong for you?

i was chatting to a co-worker today, and we were talking about chocolate and how girls like it a lot and how it's a wonderful gift to give a girl ... he said though, that his favourite thing to give a girl was flowers - not for her birthday or christmas or anything - more as a "just because" type gift. i thought about it for a second and realized that i have received flowers from a guy (who is not my father) on two occasions (not counting the silk corsage my date got me for our senior formal/prom or whatever you want to call it)

1. in grade 9, i went on an exchange to quebec for 1 week (it was a 2 week exchange in total, one week spent in ontario and one in quebec). when i returned, there were carnations in my locker (i know, i know ... carnations aren't the nicest flowers, but hey it was grade nine) ... soon after i discovered they were from this guy that apparently had a crush on me (i didn't know what to do with that information and proceeded to virtually ignore the guy until about 0ac ... how mean of me! but i was just a kid! and confused! how do you say thanks but no thanks?)
2. in fourth year university, a guy brought me a gerber daisy on our first date. it was pretty. i dried it - but i didn't do too good of a job of it b/c i think it still broke.

and really that's it (although, i did just remember now that while out with a guy last year at a jazz bar, there was one of those ppl walking around the bar selling roses ... and he bought me a couple .. i think it was more just to get the rose seller to go away though).

is my co-worker right then? is the lack of flowers a sign that i am dating the wrong kind of guys?

so help me then - where do i find the right ones?

boo

i hate my birthday.

so emotional

i'm a girl. we tend to get emotional ... usually it just corresponds with certain hormonal swings, but i've found that as i have gotten older, i'm emotional almost all the time. reading the toronto star's acts of kindness (http://www.thestar.com) makes me misty eyed. the bell christmas commercial actually warms my house. it's sad, but it's true. i hate to admit it.

when i did become emotional?

the myers briggs test always told me that i was a thinker, not a feeler.

i'm a capricorn, i'm supposed to be realistic ... yet sometimes caps can be seen as cold and unfeeling.

so why ... when everything else indicates otherwise ... am i suddenly emotional?

i guess it is soothing to know that i do have feelings though. that's the one good thing.

zzzz

i remember when there used to be a time when it seemed i'd be able to write a blog every day. i wonder what happened to those times. i figure that there's one of two possible reasons: either i'm too involved in life or not involved enough. that is, i'm too busy or just not interesting enough. i sure hope it's the former and not the latter.

so tonight i did a baking experiment. i was baking cookies. then i realized that i only had baking powder and no baking soda ... now for those of you who know your baking, you'll realize how wrong that is. i don't want my cookies to be all puffy or anything. so i decided to try to make blondies (the vanilla version of brownies) instead. i don't know if they quite got baked all the way through - there might have been too much butter in them. either way, they smell good. i hope they're not horrible - i'm supposed to take some tomorrow for our winter tea and munch at work.

i find it kind of exciting to experiment with baking. i experiment with cooking all the time - but never with baking. baking has always been straight forward and methodical for me. maybe that's why i turn to it when i am stressing out - it provides structure - one that i don't have to decide on or think about. but, i am liking this throwing all caution to the wind and trying to make my own creation thing. i just worry it won't turn out well.

i think that's one of the reasons that i don't experiment with baking and i do with cooking - i generally am the only one that eats my cooking (i.e. i cook for one) but i try to share my baking (it seems wrong for one person to chow down on 4 dozen fresh cookies) ... i don't mind experimenting when i'm the only judge, but i don't want to disappoint others.

what is it with us that we always want to please others? even if it is only subconscious. i think it goes back to us being social creatures - pleasing others means fitting into society and decreases the likelihood of being austracized from that society. but that's just my one theory.

ok, night night.

confused

ok, yes, i must admit, that i am confused most of the time. but it's only worse when people create confusing situations and put me right the smack dab in the middle of it.

so here it is ... i know i should actually be embarassed or something about this ... but i'm not ... i should probably be angry about this ... but i'm not ... even frustrated or perturbed would be an appropriate emotion, but i'm not ... i'm just a little confused.

i guess to protect the identity of the innocent ... i shall mask the actual names of those involved ... i'm sure you'll marvel at my clever pseudonyms.

so one friday, girl y meets boy x. y and x talk for a while and eventually, have to part ways. before x leaves y, he asks for her number. she thinks about it and does oblige him. ok, nothing out of the ordinary here.

y is surprised when she receives a phone call from x the following tuesday. they talk for a while and then at the end of the conversation, he suggests they get together sometime. again, she thinks about it and obliges him ... carpe diem, right? he asks what a good night is for her ... he says he's good for thursday, and lucky for him, that's pretty much her only free day for the next week.

so it's thursday night. x said he would phone y around 7 and then they could decide where to go from there. so after work, x goes out for some pool and some drinks with her co-workers. she keeps her cellphone nearby for when x calls. by 8, it's apparent he won't call so she continues on her merry way with her co-workers for more drinks and some thai food.

so ... here's the question ... why does x initiate all conversation, make a date ...make time arrangements surrounding the date and then just not call at all? it's not like y forced him into it. she didn't even know if she really wanted to go on the date and frankly she's not too bothered that it didn't happen. mostly, she's just confused as to why he'd make a date and then just disappear.

unless when he said thursday he meant friday? *shrugs*

ah well.

who wants to marry an american?

http://www.marryanamerican.ca

so i was checking through the profiles (out of curiousity, more than real interest - i swear! i'm not that desperate .... yet)

most of the profiles seem to be of rather unappealing canadian women ... hooray for having a web site to showcase the desperation of the cat women of the great white north.

the site urges canadians to pledge to sacrifice their singlehood to help our neighbours to the south escape four more years of cowboy conservatism ... but my question is .. what happens when dubya's reign inevitably ends (seeing as he's in his second and therefore last term) ... will your southern spouse leave you? and isn't this just really encouraging greencard fraud? i saw that movie - i know it's wrong (although, i also know that sometimes in the end, you'll actually fall in love ..)

animal instincts

no .. not that kind of animal instinct. geesh.

anyway, my illustrious partner in crime and i are pet-sitting once again. this time it's a rather cute cat named jingles. sure, we're not supposed to have pets in our new apartment, but it is just for a week (although, i'd like to keep her indefinitely - i don't think her owner would like that too much though) - we told our landlords about it and they were rather worried, they seem to be under the impression that cats are very destructive and will ruin the place and that they are very very smelly and the smell will never leave the apartment.

so back to my real story. tonight, there was a huge crash. i went to check it out, but couldn't find anything that had fallen. the cat had decided to take up a post outside my bedroom door. she kept sticking her nose in my bedroom but then would back out very quickly in a somewhat frightened/startled state. she crouched down by the door frame - staring down the hinges. now, i know cats like to pounce - but usually i see them pouncing for fun, and see that they have an actual target on which they are pouncing. neither applied to jingles. she was very intent and very serious. it was very strange.

i walked back down the hall ... and she stayed there, staring at nothing ... occasionally making a move towards the door and then backing up in that same startled manner. i called her to come back to the living room and she did ... but only for a minute and then she returned to her post. she was there for like 10 minutes. it was very strange, very creepy.

i believe that animals have much better instincts than humans. well, either that or they actually listen to their instincts while we let other things make our decisions - logic, guilt, hope, fear ... etc. it really makes me wonder what she was frightened of. hmm ... i really shouldn't be writing things like this before i go to bed - it will give me nightmares. she's here on my bed now and happy and sleeping though, so that means everything's all right ... right?

gubernatorially yours

choice a or choice b?

i only have 18 minutes remaining on my battery ... however will i make a decision?

i think if i were american, politics would make me apathetic, much moreso than in canadian politics.

there's always the notion that what happens in american politics will have huge impacts on canada .. but, as an individual .. on a micro level, i just don't see it - i don't feel it. how do you feel the impact of a government? if they give you money/services or take money(taxes)/services, then you feel the impact.

but maybe this (new?) administration will change my view on that. you never know.

of butterflies and whimsy

so, i've recently moved. one of the greatest things about the move is that i am now within walking distance to work - no more reliance on that not so reliable rocket that is the ttc subway (hooray!)

as a result, i've been arriving home much earlier - somewhere around 5:30, which means that i'm in time for the second half of the gilmore girls reruns that the women's channel plays at 5 every day. it's been wonderful! they're in the jess days - my favourite times! i forgot how much i loved jess. this was the good ol' days before he started getting super popular and they decided that they had to write him off the show so he could attempt his own spin-off (which didn't fare too well) ... although, him being written off the show was inevitable since with him around loralei and luke could never have gotten together.

so the best jess line, the moment i fell in love with him ... is when he returns a book to rory and she looks through it and sees all the notes he's written in the margins ... so she then says "i thought you said you didn't read much" .. he looks at her, and as he walks away he says "but what is much"

*swoons*

it's really sad that i'm this emotionally charged over a television character, i know. but he's just so .... *sigh*

so now i'm on the quest to find my jess. i think i need to have one of them in my life ... just for the experience of it. although, i'm not on a quest - b/c when you go on a quest for something like that, you rarely find it. but maybe i already have.

in other news - http://www.pulse24.com/News/Top_Story/20041027-017/page.asp

that house was like 2 blocks from my old apartment (that i moved out of last sunday). nothing shady is supposed to happen on balliol street! it's like a stars hollow street!

ok, that's it - no more gilmore girls talk ... for now ...

nibbling

ode to toilet paper.

your neatly quilted flowers,
all rolled up neat and white.
always there when you need it,
morning, noon or night.

but tp, i must ask you -
where do you disappear?
i know you get used up, it's true
i don't expect you to last a year.

yet, this morning i renewed you.
a soft, full fluffy roll.
and this evening you were empty,
were the sheets stolen by a mole?

or better yet a rat,
but why would she stow you away?
tp is for one thing ... unless ...
is she eating you? she must think you're hay!

*the end*

p.s. i apologize for the awful poetry. but ... i had to make something out of a joke. a whole roll of toilet paper was used up today ... melissa was rather confused ... and then she came up with the solution - no one, i.e. melissa3, uses that much toilet paper in one day - unless of course, they're eating it. mmm ... bleached, fibers-y goodness!

confessions

do you ever feel like you're not quite getting all you can out of life? that there's something that seems so achievable ... but when you reach for it, it's like the millionaire (see c. montgomery burns) that's tied a dollar to a string and keeps pulling it just inches from your fingertips.

anyways, i don't think i should really continue on that train of thought. i really should have learned by now that blog entries after an evening at the bar are rarely a good thing - either i can't type, or i pursue a train of thought that i wouldn't normally. and b/c it's something i wouldn't want to share normally, i try to be as vague as possible, which just confuses people.

i know with communication you are supposed to be concise, clear - to the point. but there are some things that i just can't do that with (heck, when am i ever concise and to the point in my ramblings ... that's why they are just that, i.e. ramblings - i like to meander through my thoughts. gotta love applying that whole stream of consciousness thing). anyway ... my vagueries sometimes even confuse me, but i know that there are certain subjects that i would never wish to touch upon. even this is a subject i don't wanna go too deep into .. but i'm enjoying the feeling of tapping the keyboard right now and since no one seems to be replying to my msn messages, writing a diary entry will have to suffice.

so back to the vagueries ... they're my wall ... my protective wall. if i ever admit to you that you've figured them out, or tell you what they're referring to ... you know you're special. and really, there aren't that many special ones out there.

oh yeah, and i don't mean special as in riding the little bus to school, just to clarify.

advertising and education

so there's a current advertising campaign that really ... makes me squirm ... i would almost go as far to say that it actually disgusts me. maybe not disgusts, but upsets at least

now, you might think that this is due to the graphic nature of the campaign, the taboo subject matter, the political incorrectness of it all ... and i suppose in a way that's true - but it's not as overt as one might imagine.

so what could this campaign be?

it's an ad campaign extolling the virtues of the catholic school board. and saying what a wonderful loving and caring environment it is. i don't doubt this. but, the insinuation is that the other public system is the exact opposite. ok, so i understand that. you highlight your virtues relative to the competition when you're advertising.

but ... why is there competition b/w the school boards that are both funded by taxpayers? why is a board that is funded by the taxpayers using those funds in order to buy advertising space? especially when the other public school board seems to be so short of funds (although, those who rely on funds provided by the government must always play the oliver, must always ask for more)

maybe i'm just overreacting though ... and perhaps i just can't properly express my feelings about this

in other remarks, i hope that denmark doesn't decide that now is the time to strike and claim the disputed land and thus trigger a war. our [canada's] sub is currently on the fritz. and while we work on getting that back up and running, we're open to attack! but still, who would win that battle? unarmed canada or armed denmark?

l&o

over the years, myself, like many others, have become a victim of l&o addiction. i used to watch it all - every one, every rerun i could tune into. as of late, i've found that they've become more and more sensationalised - drawn on real life inspiration much more. or maybe it's that the real life inspiration is so much more obvious to me now. (or maybe it is more obvious b/c they're choosing the most sensational stories).

slowly, my favourite has changed from the original to svu, and lately even ci has been ranking ahead of the original in my mind. (vinnie dinofrio is growing on me - he's come a long way since full metal jacket) anyways, sadly, jerry orbach (my favourite talking candlebra) left the original series - you'd think that perhaps he was retiring, but no, he's starting in another l&o (they need another in the franchise to stay ahead of csi, seeing as the crime & punishment string didn't quite pan out) . and jerry's replacement? one dennis farina. i don't know if i can handle it.

it's so hard to respect someone who takes their inspiration for hairstyle (and facial hair style) from a movie entitled somewhere along the lines of good will humping or glad he ate her*

oh yes, in other news - why did they kill off rory in csi: miami?!?

(apparently i watch too much tv)

* courtesy of thai. although, it *may* be real. he does have access to a rather large video library. i don't know what kind of films they are though.

hot and not

hot:

• sand between my toes
• fall days that feel like summer
• good wine (red or white) and good eats (mmm, bbq)

not:

• cold showers (when the hot water decides to be ... well, not)
• leaving on lights and leaving the door unlocked when you leave the apartment
• rats
  

nature boy

so, apparently rogers has decided to punish me for whatever reason ... i'm quite unsure why; the madness has gone on for two full tv nights so far (the repairman was supposed to come tonight, and he didn't) - it's quite sad

luckily, we get one channel (ctv) without cable; cbc comes in too, but it's rather fuzzy. i think the worst part is that i keep trying to channel surf during commercials, and i can't. i must now subject myself to a full commercial break of advertising. i am at the mercy of the marketers! i am their slave! i am their prisoner! if i cry uncle, will they let me go?

so, i have been subjected to canadian idol for the last two hours. fortunately, they can sing! they are amazing! their singing is moving me so much, making me so emotional. when kalan sang nature boy, i was his (i think kalan should be careful that he doesn't become a sex-symbol to the 25 - 40 year old women of canada ... i know too many ppl in their mid-late twenties that are in love with him; technically, this is ok, since he is 18 and of age - but, he looks like he's 12 - 14, which really is a little frightening). theresa has been my girl from the start. i'm quite sad that i haven't been a dedicated fan and didn't get a chance to show all their stuff. in just a few moments, ben says that one of them will rise victorious (i'm betting it's kalan, he's just so amazing)

but you never know, there can always be surprises!

but in the end, i will miss the show. mostly b/c i'll miss ben. i'm in love with ben, i can't explain it. there's this strange attraction to the epitome of canadian smarminess. ben, if you're reading this, i'm yours!

p.s. this week in pictures contest will be on hiatus. i was unimpressed by last week's entries.

the contest: week 2

after the wonderful success of last week, i decided that we'd try it again. i really must take this moment to thank my cousin for the wonderful source material ... both for week 1 and week 2.


insert witty caption: week 2

a day for firsts

so time to announce the winner(s) to the contest:

in first place, "outbreak of lime disease hits feline population" (i think that's what it said, i can't remember word for word right now, so if i misquoted you brad, my sincerest apologies)

and an honourable mention goes to "just call me snatch sister number 5" from some anonymous entrant, you know who you are (and you definitely didn't get any extra points just for being you)

and in other firsts today ... well, i have quite the list of them ...

today was:

• my first time sailing
• my first time swimming out to "sea" (i.e. the lake) to try to rescue a sailboat that apparently wasn't anchored as well as originally thought (and no, the anchoring duty was not mine)
• my first cob of corn for the summer
• my first margarita of the summer (don't know how that happened)
• my first time on a bicycle built for two
  
• my first time pumping my own gas (i did attempt once before but couldn't figure out how to work the darn doo-hickey and the gas wouldn't come out .. so i just discreetly replaced the nozzle in its little holder and left the gas station ... )
• my first time swimming in lake urine ... er i mean huron this year... heck in about 3 or 4 years, i think.
• my first time using the bullets in my blog ... how wonderful! i like bullets, i must keep this in mind for the future!

and perhaps that is it ...but still, overall, that's a pretty big day of firsts, don't you think?

but now, i must be off to bed ... too much food ... ah, gotta love sundays at the cottage, the home of the eating marathon

contest: week #1

so, i've decided to have a contest. of course i'm not being original with my contest .. and contrary to what "week #1" implies, this won't necessarily be a weekly event .. it may be more often or, more likely, less often .. and also, i think contest implies that there is some sort of prize. i'm unsure as to what this prize is ... other than perhaps bragging rights. so here we go, week number 1 .. the witty caption contest:

here's your picture:

insert witty line here

now let's hear your captions!

just a musing

note: if you're easily offended by religious talk and issues that generally fall under religion's purview, you may not want to read the next couple lines ... so cover your eyes!


if you became impregnated by immaculate conception, how wrong would it be to get an abortion?

just wondering

yeah,i have no idea where that thought came from.

confrontations

so .. living with girls there it is almost inevitable that there will be drama ... we made it almost a year, well, more like 8 months without too much but on tuesday night the poo hit the proverbial fan

now, i'm not a fan of confrontation ... i'm not good at initiating it, not good at being on the receiving end and definitely not good in the aftermath ... which is the reason that i've been avoiding it for months

unfortunately, i was in the wrong place at the wrong time on tuesday evening and received the brunt of the anger and now must live in the insufferable silence that follows

i'm comfortable in silence, i'm not always a talker and often prefer to just laze in silence ... but this is uncomfortable silence ... and so i have hidden in the comfort of my room where no one can bother me .. but really, how much longer can this go on? how much longer can i stay a prisoner, a prisoner of my own room? really, i am also the jailer, so i guess as long as i decide.

oh sarah, how we love thee

last night, for the first time in many years, i got the opportunity to see sarah perform live once again ... and she was amazing!

sarah who, you ask? well, sarah mclachlan of course! (i'm on a first-name basis with all my favourite singers .. sarah, lauryn, jill, alicia ... etc ... either that or i'm just to lazy to say full names, it can be exhausting you know ... there's a reason why we don't call each other by our first and last names all the time - in an aside, i was bored at work the other day and decided to start looking up what my last name meant ... at one time i had found my last name used as a first name in a baby name book and it said that it meant "bean farmer" ... well, that wasn't very cool .. i know last names are often a derivation of what a person used to do ... but bean farmer? there's a reason that i moved away from the country ... so anyway, i couldn't find anything that said my name meant bean farmer ... however, much to my surprise, i could find no internet source that told me that my last name meant "bean farmer" ... instead, it said that it was a different version of the french-name equivalent to "smith" ... not equivalent of smith due to its popularity but instead due to its literal meaning ... but still, smith is a popular name ... i want to me more original! in the words of bridget [jones, if you have to ask ... yet another "person" i'm on a first name basis with], i want something more extraordinary than that)

anyway, back to how great she was ... the control, the maturity of her voice, the strength, the clarity, the flexibility, the instrumentations ... i can only wish that i had that kind of talent.

so i would like to say thank you sarah ... thank you for your music and thank you for sharing it with us!

(my only complaint is that there were no songs sung from touch or solace ... now i can understand why there'd be not much from touch ... but solace had some good, solid songs on it ... and one of my favourites too ... but that's ok ... she has so much great material that she can just really concentrate on a couple of her cd's ... and i'm really glad there were so many from fumbling b/c that is definitely my favourite cd ... so many great songs!)

so as a final kind of wrap up ... here's what we heard ...

from fumbling:
- possession
- waiting
- hold on
- ice
- elsewhere
- ice cream
- fear
- fumbling towards ecstacy

from surfacing:
- building a mystery
- adia
- angel
- witness
- sweet surrender
(i think that's it)

from movie sound tracks:
- i will remember you
- black bird

from afterglow:
- fallen (opening song)
- world on fire
- stupid
- drifting
- train wreck
- push
- answer
- dirty little secret (final encore)

t'was wonderful! please come back again soon, sarah!

crazy daisy

so my illustrious partner in crime and i have been pug-sitting this week ... pugs, for those of you don't know are one of the ugliest dogs ... but they're so ugly they're cute (http://www.akc.org/breeds/recbreeds/pug.cfm).. anyways, this dog is a ball of energy and rather ... well, crazy (which works out rather well b/c it rhymes with daisy which is the dog's name)

anyways, the pug-sitting isn't the real story here, but she features in it

so ... the other night, daisy was sleeping on my bed with me .. but then she sat up on the corner of my bed and looked out the door that was open just a crack or so (well, about a foot) and starts growling ... for a long long time ... i glance out the door and there's nothing there ... nothing there at all ... but she continues to growl ... it was really unnerving

i told my room mate (she would be the partner in crime) about it and she said that crazy daisy did the same thing on her last night ... and again, there is no one out in the hall for her to be growling out

and what does this lead a paranoid person like this to believe? well, that we have a spirit living with us! (i think i've been reading torontoghosts.com too much) ... animals are supposed to be good at sensing these things, so it makes sense right?

at least she seems like a nice spirit! not too mischeivous or anything ... and now if i hear strange noises i can blame it on the spirit rather than on the rapists and robbers i always imagine are breaking into the house. wonderful!

mid-summer crisis

so mary kay letourneau got out of jail today .. who is she, you ask? well, to catch you up, she's the elementary school teacher that had a relationship with a grade 6 student about 8 or 9 years ago (i can't remember the perfect timeline) ... was charged (while carrying his child) and sentenced ... and then when she got out on parole (i think it was) was caught having sex with him again in the back seat of a car (and was then impregnated with her second child by him) ... so now she's out, and he's no longer 12, but now is 21 and is fighting to try to strike down a court order that bars them from having any contact with each other. apparently, he's still in love with her .. and perhaps she's still in love with him (she's been rather mum on the whole issue)

there is a definite icky factor in this whole situation ... one must really wonder what a woman of 34 could see in a boy of 12 (heck, i'm pushing 24 and i don't think i could handle a 22 year old ... and if i was with a guy who was 22, he better be darned mature) ... so what is there between a 12 year old and a 34 year old? great challenging conversation? exciting sex? perhaps that's it ... but you have to remember that a grade 5 student shouldn't (although, you never know these days) be that experienced - although, then she could mold him into exactly what she wanted.

still, i think it's a little icky.

but there still seems to be this ... i won't say romantic ... but ... fascination in our society with the woman seducing the young boy situation ... it appears every once in a while - pacey in dawson's creek , irving's widow for one year (recently the centre of the movie the door in the floor based on the same book), etc ... and it's treated as it's ok ... even something for others to be jealous of, to yearn for themselves ... i think this is part of the fascination with the real-life occurrence of this fantasy ...

there's even a debate as to whether it's ok or not, if it's romantic or just pedophilic

if the genders were reversed, and it was the male teacher seducing the female student, there would be no debate, it would be straight perversion and pedophelia

but in the end, i think it's just another example as to how geared towards men the media is (aside: media is the plural of medium, i.e. one medium or many media ... but when you refer to "the media", is this treated as singular or plural ... by all rights it should be plural, but it just doesn't seem right that it would be plural ... anywya, i digress) ... many of the images on tv, movies, yadda yadda yadda (you must excuse all my yaddas ... i was watching seinfeld tonight and it was the "yadda, yadda yadda" episode) are geared towards what men would like to see ... older woman seducing younger man ... average/overweight guy with beautiful, skinny wife ... etc etc (i think the average / overweight guy married to the beautiful, skinny wife is especially perpetuated on sit-coms which i suppose makes sense as we generally find pleasantly plump men as jolly, jocular, amusing yet women in the same condition are slobs, unattractive ... but this is starting to change and kirstie alley is certainly pulling her weight in that struggle)

but in the end, it does serve its purpose ... i am entertained, and that's all i ask for, isn't it?

je ne sais quoi

i really like to think that marketers do not have a hold on me ... that i can simply dismiss their schemes and advertisements as pure manipulation ...

but ... they come up with some of the best slogans! wonderful slogans! things that i wished i had come up with myself.

my current favourites are:

nothing to justify (diet coke)

and

remember, your laugh lines are your sexy lines (khalua)

funny enough, i drink neither of these beverages and have no desire too .. but man, i sure do remember their slogans!

new beginnings

well .. after years (years plural ... how scary) of being a happy resident of diaryland, i have decided it is finally time to migrate .. time for a new beginning so to speak

i have two reasons for this ...

1. i really really want a comment section
2. i figured that if i started anew, started afresh i might find some new inspiration ... and maybe, even for just a little while, i might become a good blogger again, and update more than once every two or three months

so, fasten your seatbelts and secure all loose objects ... we're in for a bumpy ride!