zzzz

i remember when there used to be a time when it seemed i'd be able to write a blog every day. i wonder what happened to those times. i figure that there's one of two possible reasons: either i'm too involved in life or not involved enough. that is, i'm too busy or just not interesting enough. i sure hope it's the former and not the latter.

so tonight i did a baking experiment. i was baking cookies. then i realized that i only had baking powder and no baking soda ... now for those of you who know your baking, you'll realize how wrong that is. i don't want my cookies to be all puffy or anything. so i decided to try to make blondies (the vanilla version of brownies) instead. i don't know if they quite got baked all the way through - there might have been too much butter in them. either way, they smell good. i hope they're not horrible - i'm supposed to take some tomorrow for our winter tea and munch at work.

i find it kind of exciting to experiment with baking. i experiment with cooking all the time - but never with baking. baking has always been straight forward and methodical for me. maybe that's why i turn to it when i am stressing out - it provides structure - one that i don't have to decide on or think about. but, i am liking this throwing all caution to the wind and trying to make my own creation thing. i just worry it won't turn out well.

i think that's one of the reasons that i don't experiment with baking and i do with cooking - i generally am the only one that eats my cooking (i.e. i cook for one) but i try to share my baking (it seems wrong for one person to chow down on 4 dozen fresh cookies) ... i don't mind experimenting when i'm the only judge, but i don't want to disappoint others.

what is it with us that we always want to please others? even if it is only subconscious. i think it goes back to us being social creatures - pleasing others means fitting into society and decreases the likelihood of being austracized from that society. but that's just my one theory.

ok, night night.