confessions

do you ever feel like you're not quite getting all you can out of life? that there's something that seems so achievable ... but when you reach for it, it's like the millionaire (see c. montgomery burns) that's tied a dollar to a string and keeps pulling it just inches from your fingertips.

anyways, i don't think i should really continue on that train of thought. i really should have learned by now that blog entries after an evening at the bar are rarely a good thing - either i can't type, or i pursue a train of thought that i wouldn't normally. and b/c it's something i wouldn't want to share normally, i try to be as vague as possible, which just confuses people.

i know with communication you are supposed to be concise, clear - to the point. but there are some things that i just can't do that with (heck, when am i ever concise and to the point in my ramblings ... that's why they are just that, i.e. ramblings - i like to meander through my thoughts. gotta love applying that whole stream of consciousness thing). anyway ... my vagueries sometimes even confuse me, but i know that there are certain subjects that i would never wish to touch upon. even this is a subject i don't wanna go too deep into .. but i'm enjoying the feeling of tapping the keyboard right now and since no one seems to be replying to my msn messages, writing a diary entry will have to suffice.

so back to the vagueries ... they're my wall ... my protective wall. if i ever admit to you that you've figured them out, or tell you what they're referring to ... you know you're special. and really, there aren't that many special ones out there.

oh yeah, and i don't mean special as in riding the little bus to school, just to clarify.