the winterless winter

one of the things that i've always liked about canada, and have always been sure that i would miss if i was somewhere else, is our incredibly distinct seasons. we have the lazy hazy crazy days of summer with all the heat and the suntanning on the beach then autumn hits and the trees turn spectacular hues of yellows, reds and oranges then just as the mud is setting in, winter swoops in with a wonderful blanket of white covers everything and the world is all fresh again. and of course, we get tired of the cold that accompanies the crystalline beauty and cheer as the snow melts insto spring and we get to witness the fabulous rebirth of green.

well folks .. this has been shattered. what has happened to my seasons? where are the seasons? it's the first week of january and i haven't seen snow yet! ok, i have - but only as flakes in the air or the very fine layer that covers the ground and melts the second you turn your back on it. that's not snow people, that's not snow!

perhaps there's something to this whole global warming thing - but that would just be too convenient (rather than inconvenient as al gore would have you believe). it has me re-examining things. should i be upset when things aren't living up to my expectations or, instead, should i embrace what is given and enjoy the new experiences while i have them. or maybe i should just stop thinking ... afterall, ignorance *is* bliss.

my arizona adventure

so i've spent the past week down in the valley in arizona. it's strange that it is such a different world down here - while it's the same - it's also different. during my adventure (which mostly consisted of sleeping, shopping and eating out) i've wandered here and there and seen some amazing vistas and made some observations ... among them:

everyone drives here - i mean everyone - well, aside from the few migrant workers who are going to or from work. people kept looking at me funny seeing me walking along the sidewalk - all by myself. see - the sidewalk is bare!

and if you're going to drive - you might as well drive the largest vehicle possible. suv's are somehow bigger here - i swear there are supersized models for this market only - ones we wouldn't see at home. it's crazy!

oh yes, and from the relative comfort and anonymity of the giant suv and/or pick-up, the boys find the freedom to be quite vocal. the hooting and the hollering was something i've never experienced before - aside from the occasional walk by a construction site in the summer. it's a little unnerving.

oh yes - and for future reference - they don't call it old scottsdale because of its age - but more the age of the tourists .... man i feel young. but that's a good thing, right? maybe this is the way to get me through my quarter life crisis. who knew i'd be so scared of turning 26?

passing time

it keeps on going and going. tick tock, tick tock. it seems like i might be having something interesting or artful to say, but .... no, i'm just leading you astray. i've got nothin'

but, in odd things - i was just watching a hair club for men type commercial - one where they take your own hair and replant it to where you're balding (perhaps i should get this for my brother for christmas ... i think he's past the time where rogaine would be of any help).

anyway - the real hook for this campaign - if you call now, you get free gas!

now, i'm not sure if they were talking about gasoline or perhaps just ... like gastro-intestinal type gas as a side-effect of the surgery - but that's what they were advertising. i'm pretty sure that they were talking about the former though.

it was definitely one of those disconnects. how do hair and gasoline connect? the hold is tenuous at best - when you regain hair, you want to drive in a convertible with the top down and let the wind zip through your hair (and in this case, youc an be confident in doing something like that and your hair won't fall out) - and to drive a convertible, you need gas. but that's way too much thinking to make it make sense. we the ppl need things handed to us on a silver platter - how can you expect us to think? that's just way too demanding!

an open mind

i've been having quite the discussions lately about politics with people. and yet again i'm reminded that there is no political party out there that really speaks to me. in general, i think i have two issues with political parties:

1. they seem to be a little to idealistic and do things sometimes just to prove that they believe in x ideal; and

2. they are too afraid to admit that things change and the changing world can sometimes make a policy or idea that was good at one time not be good now.

politics, in general, fascinates and frustrates me. there are so many good things about it and so many bad. because the talk of politics is so entwined in an individual's personal views and morals, it becomes a topic that is difficult to talk about openly, fairly and without fear of being rebuked. it becomes too emotional and the emotion prevents us from having those discussions that we need to have.

it saddens me that these days we don't really have that visionary, that charismatic leader to get our blood pumping. even if i don't agree with what the leader says, i'd still like there to be someone out there like that. where have all the kings of rhetoric gone? is it because there's no longer the same glory there once was? or is it because there's more opportunity in the knowledge based economy for those individuals now - that they can excel elsewhere and make a prettier penny doing it? or ... are those visionaries so fed up with our society that they've turned their back on it?

maybe i'm asking too much - because how often does a great leader come along? and how often do we see past great leaders as great simply because of the situation that they were in? would they still be great if they hadn't had to deal with that situation? would we remember them at all? i much prefer that we live in non-descript times rather than to have driven these people from the public sector ... but, you never know.

freak out 2006

i can't believe that i freaked out that much. i really had no good reason to freak out. but there i was, and i couldn't stop myself. i thought i was having a good hair day, i thought i was looking cute - but then the self-doubt kick in. had i been simply living in a dream world and this was the pinch to bring me back to reality?

i couldn't even look! i had to avert my eyes. here i am, woman (hear me roar) - and i'm left breathless in the wrong way. i thought i was doing well - i was feeling strong, confident, ambitious - i was going places. and then, for a split second, i saw it all in a different light. much like the interrogation light - bright white - it highlighted every bump, every wrinkle, every imperfection.

god - i hate bathing suit shopping...

and i'm sure i'll feel even better when i get the whole bathing cap and suit ensemble going. the funniest part - i had to shop in the "competitive swimwear" section. anyone else find that thought funny, or is it just me?

new contest!

so - you might have noticed, i changed my template. i haven't decided if i like it yet and i still am a little bit embarassed that i'm using a template in the first place. but then - my design skills aren't nearly what they used to be.

so ... out of laze, i have decided to have a new contest. huzzah! are you excited yet?

what is the contest? well, to design me a lovely new blog. i'm open to most ideas (although - i tend to prefer ones that are pretty and not x-rated) - so go ahead and do it! if you win, you get to see your lovely design every time you come to read my witty and thought provoking posts.

(hmm ... i wonder if any suckers will bite on this one ... oops ... did i type that out loud?)

fears realized

everyone has those things that they're scared of for no real good reason. there may be an explanation (weird, i just wrote explication - that's not even a word! is it?) in their past, some logical progression from no fear/indifference to petrification. but then sometimes, the fear is inexplicable.

for me, this inexplicable fear surrounds falling. well, not really falling, per se. more - having the "ground" fall from beneath me. and when i say ground, i don't mean that actual earth - i mean the suspended floors we create for ourselves - i.e., sidewalk grates, the glass floor in the cn tower, bridges, etc.

luckily, this fear isn't as bad as it used to be. i remember a time when i was basically frozen if i had to step on a grate in the sidewalk - but these have become *almost* commonplace for me now walking around the city (of course, i still *try* to avoid them, although, this is only partially motivated by fear of the grate collapsing - the other part is for my heel slipping through the grate - it's no fun to be stuck AND ruin new shoes. it's very sad, really). however, i still have some issues with the rather large bridges - i was a little shocked when i discovered the large bridge i had to cross this spring when i made my way down to wine country. but i took some deep breaths, stared ahead and gripped the steering wheel tightly and i made it across.

when talking about this fear with people, i'm always told how silly i'm being. that the floor of the cn tower just wouldn't fall out, that bridges just don't collapse. but ... they do! and that's what the unfortunate events in laval this weekend have taught us. i'm not crazy (and this is definitely going to put my fear-dealing a few steps back).

it's sad that we have things like this happen - that we can't keep up with our infrastructure needs. there seems to be this grand idea that if we keep building new infrastructure we can keep growing and growing. but what do we do when our existing infrastructure can't even be maintained? sure - shovel-digging and ribbon cutting ceremonies get you a lot better press than filling in the ever worsening pothole. sure, people complain when they aren't able to use a road because it's being redone. but ... we've gotta do it. we depend on the safety of the infrastructure provided to us - being scared of bridges collapsing under you feet/car *should* be an inexplicable fear - not a reality.

a new place

so, as i alluded to in my last post - my room mate of many years (well, like 3 ... does 3 count as many? when it's over 10% of my life and like half the time of my life since i lived with my parents, i think it counts as many years) is moving far away. result? i moved in with another friend. this weekend was moving weekend. fun? well, it wasn't that bad since none of the heavy lifting was done by me. hooray for male friends! they didn't even grumble (that much).

my new room mate is out of town for a few days - which is kind of nice because i can have the place in a huge mess as i slowly put all my stuff together. however, at the same time - it's a little eerie. i'm moving into someone's place - someone that's been living in the place for quite some time. i don't want to be overstepping the lines or anything. i haven't done that much - although there is little in the way of decorating through the place so i have added some splashes of colour, plant life, etc. ... mostly i've just worked on my bedroom and what is pretty much my bathroom (although it's kind of like the main bathroom ... the other one is an en suite to the other bedroom - so that wouldn't be too practical for guests to use).

but tomorrow - or tuesday or wednesday - depending on my schedule, i've got to start integrating more of my stuff into the kitchen. i opened up the cupboards today and saw a huge mess. i'm a little bit particular about my kitchen. my bedroom can be the biggest mess - the other rooms need to be somewhat neat and organized - but the kitchen must be well organized and well cleaned. i'm not even sure where my stuff will fit. but i'm a little scared to move too much. just like i'm scared to put pictures on the wall. i don't want to do anything offensive in my first week!

it's weird feeling like an intruder though. it's also weird to have moved. i still don't think it's quite sunk in. but then - maybe that's part of the nomad in me. i'm a rather adaptable person - and sometimes i wonder, am i too adaptable and accepting of the circumstances that life gives me?

note to self

copious amounts of white wine on a tuesday night is not a good idea.

this continues melissa & melissa's research into wine on week nights. (my partner in crime, who's soon leaving me for another country *wipes tear* discovered that a bottle of red wine on a monday is not a good idea either).

so next week, should i try wednesday with a blush?

cold feet

hah - made you think i was getting married, didn't i? but no - the title actually refers to my literally cold feet.

you'd think that if this was such a problem, i'm put on some socks. i have a rather warm pair of fuzzy pink ones ... but instead, i sit with my bare feet elevated - further exacerbating the problem. gotta love how lazy i am.

the cold feet make me sad. they're quite representative of a change in seasons. the point in time when i actually have to start wearing socks and shoes. i rather like wearing sandals/open toed shoes. but now i'll have to start squeezing my feet back into confines of boots.

it's weird that i feel so opposed to this. i think my favourite article of clothing is socks (i'm currently in the process of packing up all my clothes and have discovered that my socks fill up a gym bag - do you think perhaps i have too many?). so why then, am i loathing the thought of having to wear them every day?

... and so continues the life of the walking contradiction ...

it does exist!

so, according to the latest (well, i guess seeing as thursday is publication day, the next to latest would be the better description) issue of the economist, global warming does exist! and just when i thought all that chatter about the hockey stick was make believe!

so one and all, it's time to batten down the hatches! the warming will come! it's the truth - despite it being a little inconvenient. of course, we do have to weigh the costs of fighting global warming with the potential unknown benefits. maybe it's already too late, maybe spending billions now won't really produce a real effect anyway ... there's a lot of risk and uncertainty there. but i guess the point is that we should spend something ... just because the impact of the threat is unknown, doesn't mean you should ignore it, right?

and most of all, remember to think responsibly.

the darkness

it's strange - i never realized how dark the night really is. when i was younger, i just took it for granted that when the sun goes down, it gets black outside. as a child, i lived in the country - far away from the light cast from the street lamps. at night, it was dark. it was comforting in a way to know that we were so far removed from the evils and dangers of society. the most dangerous thing hiding out there was the crickets chirping or the occasional skunk snuffling for some grubs to eat.

it was quite different for me then, when i moved into town and had a single street light right outside of my window. even with the blinds shut, the light filtered through. it never seemed like it was truly night, but i adjusted. and as i moved here and there, from the small town, to the small city to the bigger city (well, i guess this is kind of a big city seeing as it is in the top five in north america or something like that, in terms of population of course)

now it seems that everything's turned around. i find it somewhat comforting that the whole city glows at night - that i can see where people are and decipher whether or not they're threatening. i go back to the country every now and then to spend the night, and when i peer into the darkness ... it's all changed. it scares me. well, that's not exactly correct. it's not the dark that scares me so much - it's what might be hiding within it. it's weird how our perceptions change.

p.s. question of the week - if one part of a girl-guy friendship is attracted to the other, can they ever have a truly platonic relationship? is it too much to desire a truly platonic relationship? or is that just an oxy moron, a figment of our imaginations?

judgement

lately, it seems to be bugging me when people say something about another's appearance and then say, "not that looks matter" or something of that kind. what a load of crap.

i think i want to go on the record now (although, i may recant in the future) - but looks do matter.

we as humans have 5 senses ... we have to use these senses to make decisions, judgements, discriminate. depending on the situation, we are limited in which senses we can use to help guide our judgements. with people, we've got sight, sound and smell (and as long as you don't give the person the no feeling, touch). i guess you have taste too - but that's for a more, uh, intimiate type of judgement.

i guess it gets me that we have absolutely no problem with discriminating against people on their smell. if someone has bad b.o., it leads us to believe that they don't have good hygiene and perhaps they're someone that we want to stay away from. maybe we think this is an ok judgement to make because smell is something that a person can work on, can mask, can change.

so then why isn't it ok to judge based on appearances? appearances are something that one can change. i'm not talking about drastic changes that require surgery - but rather other things that are simple. clothes, hair style, cleanliness, posture, etc. it's weird, but if someone dresses well, holds himself well - that shines out despite the good (or bad) looks that god gave him. and is it really so bad to judge on that?

we are visual beings after all, right?

or maybe i'm reading too much rand :S

tv show heaven

i'm the type of person who finishes what she starts. in fact, i'm sort of anal about it. if i pick up a book, i'll slog through it - no matter how disinteresting i find it or how much i don't like it. it might take me a long time, but i finish it. heck, my first hemingway (for whome the bell tolls) took me numerous starts and five years to actually complete. but, the point is, i finished it.

so this is why i sometimes find tv so difficult. you start watching a new show, it's got a hook - a mystery. sure, it's not all that *great* - but you've put in your time, you've watched one, two ... maybe even four or five episodes. and then - just like kaiser soze - it's gone.

i feel cheated, incomplete. you can't just pull the story out from under me. sure, it wasn't getting the ratings the big execs had hoped (and the sad part is, sometimes it can still be getting great ratings, just not relatively so against other shows in the time slot - like when family guy was put up to compete with friends and survivor ... yes, that's definitely a good spot for a new show to grow and thrive ... ). sometimes these shows are even still out there, they've been filmed - just never aired. they hang in limbo where no one can get them. and i stay here, teetering, hanging on a cliff.

but maybe, with the advancement of technology and the morphing of consumer tastes and growth of comfort watching tv streamed or downloaded from the internet, this can change. maybe the shows that now go into tv limbo could go to tv heaven - people could download them at their leisure and not be left for such a lurch. heck, cult followings might even be created for shows. it will bring a whole new dimension, market for stories told in episode form.

alas, i'm afraid it's just all a pipe dream.

yay me!

i did it! finally!

i moved downtown almost two years ago - and since that time i've been telling myself that i should go to the carlton. i walk by it often enough. i figured it could be a test to see if i could handle going to a movie by myself. sure, going to a movie by myself is nothing like eating by myself (sans book) - but it's all about the baby steps (see the below post).

i can't say that my first experience at the carlton was something to write home about. the movie started late, there were technical difficulties so they had to stop it half way through and i think we kept missing a little bit of the footage. however, they did make up for it by giving me a free pass for next time.

and i'm sure you're wondering what i went to see - well, it was a showing of thank you for smoking, which i found rather amusing - i'm sure it would have been even better had i seen the film in its entirety and if there wasn't a break in the middle and if the vertical alignment wasn't messed up for a few minutes - better luck next time.

confession

what i'm about to tell you all is by no means a signal that i want to get married and have kids right now, as much as it may seem to be. i'm enjoying life right now - and in no way am i ready for that "next stage" of life. i think i still have a few commitment issues to be dealing with - but i assume those will dissipate when the time comes. however, i do feel that i've made a teeny weeny baby step closer towards it.

whenever i've pictured my future, i've assumed i would have 2 kids (except for a phase in high school where i decided i wouldn't have kids. apparently i told my mom about this plan at that time - and now she thinks that i never want to have kids, which works well for me b/c that means no pressure for grandkids - or not yet at least. but then again, i'm only 25 - who knows what the coming years will bring)

so back to my original assumption - i can see these two kids - a girl with long ringletty hair and a cute little boy. both of them had the blond(e) hair and the blue eyes. this works well for me, being blond(ish - more blonde as a child) and blue-ish eyed myself. however - i've always been attracted to dark eyed, dark haired guys - you know the type that would be unlikely to produce a little blond, blue-eyed children. and the blondish, blueish eyed men? well - i never found them all that pretty ...

until now. is this a sign? am i entering a new phase in my life? or am i just bored with the same old type of guy and want to taste a new colour in the rainbow?

wow this is pretty personal - i guess the real question is will i have the guts to publish this? and if i do ... how long will i let it stay up?

early mornings

i am by no means a morning person. actually, i'm very much the opposite of a morning person. unfortunately, my work schedule doesn't always accept the fact that i'm not a morning person. yesterday morning was a prime example.

due to an unusually early start time yesterday, i had to get up early. unfortunately, i slept in. more unfortunately, i was in a daze as i got ready. then i made my big mistake. i decided to accessorize. cute earrings, yes?




because i was super late, i grabbed earrings and put them in as i searched for my umbrella, ran down the stairs, locked the door, put up my umbrella and rushed to the street car stop. it was truly miserable weather outside. i was running a little late - but not too late. it looked like everything would turn out all right.

half an hour, 2 street cars and 1 subway ride later (during rush hour, no less) - i arrived. i engaged in some early morning banter with a co-worker. while doing this, i started playing with my earrings. (i have a bad/nervous habit of playing with my earrings or necklace when talking to people.) it was then that i realized it. i was not wearing the earrings i thought i was wearing. sure my left ear held the above dangle ... but my right ear on the other hand ...

yep, that's right - i'm awesome. to make matters worse, i had my hair pulled back, so you could really see the difference.

serves me right for leaving the house without looking in the mirror first.

*hangs head in shame*

gst

yes, the goods and services tax. it's that lovely value added tax that mulroney introduced back in the day. a wonderful little consumption tax - the one we should be raising, rather than lowering (... but that's another rant, for a different day)

yes folks, that's right, i don't know if you heard the news - but the gst will be decreasing by one percentage point (from 7% to 6%) effective july 1, 2006.

now, i know this has been all over the news - but subsequent to a couple conversations i had this evening with rather intelligent, well-read individuals - apparently not everyone knows this!

kiddies, this is why you need to read the news! *just shakes her head*

sizes

we come in all sizes. it's been a pet peeve of mine for a while to see that sizes are changing. i'm a huge believer in standardized sizes. you should be able to go into any store and pick up a size and know it's going to fit you. an 8 should be an 8 should be an 8. it's easier in pants where we use waist sizes and it's measured in inches - then you know what size you should be.

as the population has been ballooning (thank you coke and french fries), stores have been adjusting sizes to make us women feel better about ourselves. they're trying to trick us. a couple years ago, if you were a size 8 - you suddenly became a 6 ... and so on and so forth (sorry, just wanted to use "so on and so forth", it seems ever so eloquent). as a result, the lower end sizes have basically fallen off the map. now instead of a size 2, there are size 0's and size 000's ... which seems just a little bit more than wrong. it seems as though teeny tiny ppl are no longer allowed to exist for the purpose of many clothing retailers. (which i think is sad - shouldn't shopping be accessible to all? it sucks to not be able to find clothes that fit properly - whether you're big or small, short or tall - we all have issues finding well fitting clothes. do we need to make it even harder?)

so the reason for this diatribe? i think that this upsizing is becoming a little ridiculous. sure, if you fit into a size smaller than usual, it's flattering. you feel as you might have actually gotten rid of those couple pesky pounds that just wouldn't go away. but when you suddenly need to go down 2 or 3 or 4 sizes smaller than usual - then i feel like the retailers are just insulting our intelligence.

however, we, the female masses, seem to fall for this trick. we feel somewhat reassured that we can fit into smaller sizes, while knowing that we have not in fact lost weight or even knowing that we have gained it. we're so easily manipulated. and now, i must admit, that i too have fallen for this manipulation. yesterday, i was out shopping and was trying on jeans. i fit into a size that i haven't fit into since i was probably 14. i'm unsure if they're the perfect jeans, great jeans, comfortable jeans - but i couldn't let them go b/c they fit.

while i try to be vigilant, i too have fallen for this marketing trick. and whenever the marketers' manipulations have an effect on my behaviour, i must applaud them.

so bravo, marketing minds, bravo.

ka-boom

a car exploded outside of my office yesterday! not just outside of my office building, i'm talking about outside of my individual office window! there was just the tree (where the squirrels play and provide me much afternoon entertainment) between the car and my office window! crazy!

ok, ok - i may exaggerate a little bit. but let me start from the very beginning (a very good place to start)

so i'm sweltering in my office yesterday (apparently the ventilation system broke ... plus they had to turn off the air conditioning anyway b/c the government thinks it must make a good conservation example and does this by turning off the air conditioning, non-essential lighting and 25% of the elevators when there's a smog day... the a/c doesn't come back on until the interior temp hits 27 degrees or something like that. i'm usually ok with this, except that they didn't have the ventilation system on yesterday - so as a result i was light-headed, dizzy, hallucinating ... but this story did actually happen! i swear!) ok ... so back to the start...

i was sweltering in my office yesterday. there's a sudden commotion down the hall. a bunch of ppl are gathering in a co-workers office and making exclamations. i ignore it and continue with my reading. the excitement seems to die down and then one of the group walks by my office and says "you shoudl check out your window - there's a car on fire)

so i look ... there's flames! lots of flames! i pause for a minute - then i think, "MY GOD! WHAT IF THE GAS TANK EXPLODES!" so i grab my purse and my keys and hightail it out of my office. by this time, most everyone with an eastern exposure has seen the car on fire. some are still wanting to watch yet torn because, what if the thing explodes ... the whole wall could be taken out. so we start heading outside ... i glance at the windows behind me and see billowing black smoke. there are some small booms (the tires popping?) our director decided at this point in time that perhaps we should all evacuate - but then, one of the ppl who just couldn't keep their noses away from the window noted that all the excitement was over. the firemens had come, they spayed the waters and the fire was out. still ... there was shattered glass on the sidewalk and even some melted aluminum or something like that.

from there on out, i just had to deal with the toxic fumes that made their way into the stagnant office air.

such an odd day.

AND ... it wasn't even the only car fire i saw yesterday. when i was walking after work, i saw another burnt out car in a puddle of water with firemens milling about.

apparently it was just *that* hot out yesterday. i don't know how many more days i can handle with it feeling like it's over 40 degrees ...

becoming the cat lady: step one

i've taken the first step, yes, yes i have.

back in the day, i believe i was voted "most likely to become a cat lady" in my high school graduating class. since that time, i've been resisting the urges, i've been analysing my actions, i've been trying to ensure that i don't become a cat lady.

but really, what is a cat lady? how many cats do you have to have? does one cat make you a cat lady? does two? and why aren't there cat men? that just doesn't seem fair! but this is all beside the point right now.

yesterday i took the first step - now i'm sure you're thinking that this means that i got a kitten (which would be fantabulous if i actually did) ... but no, i did not. however, i did get me one of those nifty shopping carts so i can easily wheel my purchases from the grocery store to my house.

maybe this is really just the first step on the way to me becoming a bag lady ... but i think it's more the cat lady route. you see, this little cart can make me more independent - i won't need to grab a taxi or even go on transit with the other pl in order to transport heavy purchases home. instead, i can do as i please, in my own little world. heck, i can even block out the real world with the music on the ipod (so if we step backwards, maybe that was the first step to becoming a cat lady. if i'm listening to music, i find i have an excuse to ignore ppl when they try to talk to me on the street)

and in the end, what's a cat lady but an independent, recluse who only has cats for friends?

bits and pieces

i keep thinking i should write in my blog and i have lots of things to write about. but when i think about writing them, i find i have not much to say - no expansion upon the original thought. so this could definitely be a post of random thoughts.

1. life jackets are important. especially in hypothermic type temperatures.
2. rain makes ppl wear funny things - like garbage bags as pretend ponchos. but my favourite outfit i saw during the downpours was the asian IT type guy was wheeling a little shopping cart thingy with a case of lakeport honey brown (or some such brand) in his too-short, tapered, pleated khakis and plaid shirt holding the lavendar umbrella with bows and flowers on it. wonderful!
3. the true love cafe has redone its signs! apparently you can stay in the true love castle - i wonder if they rent it by the hour?
4. do fireworks sound like gunfire? what does gunfire sound like? am i just being paranoid?
5. when you make an appointment, keep it. i'm not clingy - it's just that if i make a commitment to meet up with someone at some time, i respect that commitment and turn down other possible activities/rendezvoussss - so i'm annoyed when the appointment gets cancelled at the last minute.
6. will greg be the minister of finance again? when will dalton let us know? is it wrong to refer to elected officials by their first names?
7. am i being a baby if i refuse to try to make contact with someone if they have ignore my last attempt to make contact with them? should i swallow my pride and maybe open the window so i can escape my life as a recluse?
8. is it wrong to find compliments - no matter the source - even in the form of cat calls from construction workers or in the form of the homeless man on the bench in the park displaying his wealth by throwing a handful of change on the path in front of you and saying he'd like the pretty girl to spend some time with him - oddly flattering? is it wrong to be blushing and rolling your eyes/shuddering at the same time?
9. i thought may was supposed to be nice? why can't i wear my sandals yet?!? why why why?!?
10. is the mouse poo i found on my desk old or new? have the mice come back?
11. why do the IT guys lie? we got new computers at work and they make whiny/squealing noises (at first i thought there was a mouse torture chamber in my wall ... this goes back to my mouse paranoia). every 15 - 20 minutes it sounds like a mouse in horrible pain. apparently it's normal for computers to do this? well, it's normal for these computers to do this b/c they're small and there's not enough insulation to muffle that squealing noise? highly dubious!
12. (this is the last one, i swear) what's up with the da vinci code controversy? i can see why opus dei is mad b/c they are painted in a rather un-nice light ... however, i think it's great for the catholic church - faith is only strengthened when it's challenged, isn't it? it's kind of like how god tested moses in the desert ... right?

a case of mistaken identity

oh gmail ... oh gmail

so i have found it quite interesting that i tend to get a lot of mail for other ppl in my gmail account. for mike or for mildred or matt or martha ... (my gmail account is m.lastname@gmail.com) ... among these, was a flyer for some junkmail ... so i tried to unsubscribe. i put in my email address and it told me that it didn't even have me on record (it's apparently impossible to remove someone from a list when they're not on the list to begin with). this lead me to be a bit more of a detective.

i looked at the address that the email had been sent to - it was just mlastname@gmail.com ... no dot. i found this puzzling - the dot is the defining feature of my gmail address! it's cute, it's perky and it separates my first initial from my last! this lead me to go and look at other emails that i had received for other ppl ... again, the email address entered was just mlastname@gmail.com. (weird) there was a little link to "learn more" ... so being the curiouscat that i am, i double clicked. oh how i learned!

APPARENTLY, gmail does not recognize dots. it recognizes yourname@gmail.com the same as your.name@gmail.com the same as y.o.u.r.n.a.m.e@gmail.com . since when is a dot not a character? and does this mean that ALL my gmail has been going into someone else's inbox too? if there are two almost identical email sign-ins (aside from the dot) does the email get sent to all the accounts? or is it a random lottery to figure out who gets it each time? my two concerns are now that either i don't receive all emails that are sent to me ... or more distressing - all of the emails addressed to me are also being sent to mike (with the same email address as me). it makes me wonder ... i don't get *all* that many emails for mike (it is just usually mike that i get emails for) ... so either he's not a very popular guy, he doesn't use his gmail very much or i just randomly get sent some of his gmails.

i'm ever so confused.

do i change my email address? i was almost finally switched over from my hotmail to my gmail ... i almost had everyone trained! this is a definite oversight on google's part ... not necessarily the fact that the dot does not count as a character, but more in the fact that they did not really make it known/apparent that the dot did not count as a character when i signed up for this service 2 years ago!

oh i'm bitter - bitter and distressed (although, the distress is more a product of oliver being in critical care- but that's a story for another time. i don't want to assume the worst, until that assumption has been confirmed. p.s. just so you don't get overly worried, oliver is my laptop - but again, more on that later).

p.s. after some light tapping, jiggling and other good love, oliver has turned on again! YAY! but ... for how long?

hippity hop

so exciting!

the easter bunny visited me last night. that's all well and good - he usually does (if i'm with my parents for easter ... which i almost always am. gotta put in the good quality family time, right?) so i got my sugar and spice chocolate bunny (her name is daisy ... it says so on the box - i find it a little disconcerting that my chocolate bunny has a name. it makes it seem a little wrong that i will eventually have to eat her) and my mint smoothies and socks of course (i do love my socks). it almost made up for being woken up at 9 (by my father who has decided that the most effective way to wake up slumbering children early in the morning is with a spray bottle full of water) bearable. i was walking to the kitchen to get some caffeine when i noticed it - a chocolate egg hidden on the edge of the piano. then i looked at the cabinet - another egg! it was a real live easter egg hunt! i haven't had one of those in years!

i hurriedly ran around the house trying to grab all the eggs i could - elbows up of course (i had to make sure i got more than my little cousins - it's my competitive nature). you'll be glad to learn that i won. even better, i conned the youngest (just so i don't seem completely evil - the youngest cousin is 15) out of some of her eggs - i told her i didn't get any (she apparently didn't notice the giant bulge in the pocket of my sweater *snickers*) and she felt bad and gave me some. now that's what easter's all about! the spirit of giving (to me ... that is, hehehe).

hoppy easter!

the mr. men

the other day, my co-worker and i were talking about pac-man. for some rreason, whenever i think about pac-man, i start thinking about the mr. men. do you remember the mr. men? they were funny shapes (one did look like pac-man, just with legs and arms).

i could never get enough of the mr. men. unfortunately, we only had a select few mr. men books in my school library. and to make matters worse, there was only one little miss book! it was almost a tease to open up the back of the book and see the list of all the other mr. men and little miss books that existed, but that i would never be able to get my hands on.

so for a joke, i typed in "mr. men" in google (one of my best friends - google can find *almost* anything). and up pops http://www.mrmen.com - apparently it's their 35th anniversary! they're 10 years older than me! the site is all fun and interactive stuff. there's also an area where you can meet all of the mr. men and little misses. some of them look like they might be new and were probably created after my childhood, but most look like they've been around for quite some time.

so i began going through the list of little misses and began wondering which one was i. usually you don't get such a large and thorough list to play the "which one am i" game ... like the "which friend am i" or "which sex and the city girl am i" ... so i've narrowed it down to this list:

• little miss curious - spends her life saying: how? why? who? what? where? when?
• little miss brainy - knows a lot about a lot of things
• little miss dotty - is the dottiest person you'll ever meet. definitely.
• little miss shy - if anyone at any time says anything at all to little miss shy, she blushes like a beet root
• little miss splendid - thinks a lot of herself. in fact she thinks of little else (ok, i just want to be splendid .... i don't know how much this really fits ... )
• little miss stubborn - as you can imagine, is extremely stubborn
• little miss whoops - is simply one of those people who has accidents all the time.

so how about you, which one(s) are you?

taxi cabiquette

so last night i called a cab. i wait. i'm on a busy street so there were actually quite a few others ones that past me, but i continue to patiently wait for the cab that i called (i don't want my friends' address or my cell phone number to be blacklisted). finally, a cab from the company i called pulled up. so i got in. then another cab from the same company called up. on the radio i can hear the other cab driver yelling at dispatch saying that "the thief just stole my fare". i can see the driver in the other cab giving my cabbie the evil eye. i felt so guilty. should i get out at this time and go to the proper cab?

it's a question that i often wonder about. there's all this cab etiquette. some are easy - you take the first cab in the queue outside the station/restaurant/club ... whatever the location. but then there are other times i'm left wondering.

for example, i hail a cab. one starts pulling over and another one cuts him off and pulls in front. so, there are then two cabs at the side of the road for me. which one do i choose? the crazy one that sped in front. or the more patient one? if i don't go with the crazy one will he do something crazy? but if i do go with the crazy aggressive one, will he do something crazy?

i really do wonder about the blind faith we put in cabbies sometimes. b/c really, you never know what you're going to get.

playlist

here we go folks - feel free to point and laugh. i am now going to reveal the three most embarassing songs on ichapod (he's my ipod ... yes i named him) ... so drumroll please ...

3. run with us - i think that's the name of this song. it's the theme song from that old show the raccoons - i mostly liked the show because i shared a name with one of the raccoons - and no, it wasn't bert or ralph.

2. the last unicorn - this is the theme from the movie of the same name. oh how i loved that movie. but that was in my childish childhood days when i thought unicorns were real and i would grow up to be a princess... i dont' believe in them anymore, i swear ... santa claus on the other hand ...

1. how am i supposed to live without you - yes, that's right. it's the song that zack and kelly broke up to. yes, *the* zack and kelly. and this isn't a nice recorded version of the song - it's ripped straight from the show. while jessie and slater "sing" ... zack and kelly dance in the school yard and she tells him that she likes jeff. it's heart breaking really. *wipes a tear from her eye*

strange how all of my most embarassing songs are from tv/film ... oh, the memories!

activia

i think i watch too much tv. why? b/c i'm once again going to write about commercials.

has anyone seen this new activia commercial? they keep talking about the 14-day activia challenge. saying you should try activia and enjoy it for 14 days.

it doesn't really specify what the challenge is - so i can only assume that the challenge is the eating and actually enjoying activia for 14 days.

well, i'll tell you this much, i'm definitely sold!

.... or maybe not ...

ring ring... hello?

i think i may be starved for phone attention. this is really a funny predicament b/c i don't really even like talking on the phone. in fact, i rarely even phone people - just to check on meeting times and things like that. heck, my parents don't even phone me anymore now that they've discovered the beauty of instant messaging.

so there seems to be somewhat of a contradiction in there. i guess i only want the attention in as much as i feel special that someone calls and asks to speak to me. it means i'm like the chosen one! unfortunately, the only time i seem to be the chosen one on the phone that my room mate and i share is when someone's trying to solicit a donation from me or sell me something.

so this gets me to my original story. picture this - it's sunday night. 11:30. i'm sitting around minding my own business in my living room. suddenly i hear a loud, peppy sound - much to my surprise, it's my cell phone (surprise b/c i was hearing my phone ring - both b/c someone was calling and b/c the ringer was actually turned on).

alas, the sound is coming from far away. my phone is in the bedroom! i make the mad dash. i frantically search through my bag and the silver box that is my cell phone fell out onto my bed. i flipped it open. i didn't recognize the number. i put the phone to my ear just in time to hear "i don't think she's going to answer - click"

i now feel deprived. who is this mystery person trying to call me? why haven't they called back? was it ed mcmahon? did i miss my chance at a million dollars?

sure, it was probably a wrong number.

but ... what if?

puzzlements

do you ever notice that if you are in internet explorer, and you try to type in an address and go to a page, for example, www.cbc.ca, it tells you it can't find the page and then asks if you would like to go to the similarly named site www.cbc.ca

it seems silly, really it does!

but just an observation

oops

so ... apparently melpie is a child. she sulks in the corner believing the world is against her, when really it is not.

see, melpie keeps a blog. she tries to update it on a somewhat regular basis (if you can call monthly a regular basis). every once in a while someone comments on what she has written and melpie is thrilled. in november, she was so inspired, that she wrote not one, but TWO entries (aren't you impressed?).

melpie doesn't like to admit it, but her favourite part of the blog is that she gets to see ppl's comments. these comments inspire her to write - b/c if no one is going to read your blog, then you might as well just keep a personal diary, right? ok, that's the less selfish sounding reason for liking the comments - really, it just helps to flatter her ego that she has written something that someone feels is worth commenting about. she was becoming quite perturbed b/c many of the comments were simply spammers. spammers who claimed to have great interest in what she wrote and then would direct her to a website to buy hunting rifles and other equipment! THE NERVE!

she used her trusty blogspot options in order to set spam filters. she wrote another entry and waited for the real comments to roll in.

but then there was silence. nothing! weeks went by - not even an acknowledgement that she had written. sure, not everyone comments - but she usually will get one after a month or so, even if it's just to say "why haven't you updated in a while?" she began to sulk, to contemplate whether or not she would ever again publish in the blogosphere. *tear*

well, last week, melpie was chatting with rayne on msn. he inquired why she hadn't made a new post for a while. she pouted and said it was because no one had commented. he promptly set out to remedy this problem.

alas - the comments wouldn't show up. melpie began to doubt whether he had even try to publish any. she waited and refreshed and waited and refreshed. still, the comment counter remained at zero. this resulted in more pouting (hopefully her face won't freeze into a perma-pout after all this sulking).

today, melpie yet again discussed the lack of comments with rayne. perhaps she had to approve comments, he suggested. she thought this would be an odd thing - but she might as well check it out. she logged into her blog ...

EUREKA!

there were 6 comments to be approved!

all is well in the world again. blogging can begin again!

YOU LOVE ME! YOU REALLY LOVE ME!

apple beverages

it's fall! and when it's fall, i feel like having apple cider.

i have a fond childhood memory of apples. one crisp fall day on my neighbour's farm, we took a LOT of apples and put them into a giant barrel with a motor and squisher in it (i think the proper name is an apple press). the machine was loud and we got to feed the not so nice apples to the horses. it was wonderful! and the best part, we had fresh, home made apple juice ... and a little while later, we had fresh, home made apple cider.

i love apple cider. i remember it stewing in a pot in my mom's kitchen .... with all sorts of spice ... of stirring it with a cinnamon stick ... of inhaling the wonderful sweet and spicy aromas. it was like a warm hug. a warm hug enjoyed while gazing out onto a crystalline vista - of snow and white christmas lights. *sighs happily*

so there ... that's my attachment to hot apple cider ... and this is why i'm so utterly disappointed in the "apple cider" offerings in the coffee shops around here.

you cannot make proper apple cider with hot water and powder.

putting a cinnamon stick in apple flavoured hot water does not make apple cider.

hot apple juice is not apple cider.

i wish they would stop selling "apple cider".

we live in a country that has a very definite winter season, one that is cold and snowy. for these reasons, we need to embrace those drinks that warm you from the inside out. the hot chocolates, the coffees, the hot apple ciders.

is it that difficult to heat up apple cider versus apple juice? is it really? *sigh*

yet, i know i'll continue to purchase it, and continued to be disappointed. they say a sucker's born every day. and this one was born on a snowy day about 25 years ago.

hello again

so it's been a bit since the last time i wrote. i've been half away across the world and back since then! well, not quite half way ... but across the atlantic at least. there have been times when i had ideas to write down ... book "reviews" that i was supposed to do .. but, apparently i've just been lazy. but don't worry, i've been doing a lot of opining, internally that is.

i do have an anecdote to share though.

let it be said - melpie is not smart.

she wears contacts. these are silicon contacts or some such nonsense and require this peroxide based cleaning solution. it's an easy enough system... you put the contacts in this little container that has a metal piece at the bottom. once the solution is in the bottle and is touching the special metal piece, it starts its bubbly magic and cleans the contacts. it requires 6 hours to neutralize - i.e. if the solution is not touching the metal magic piece for 6 hours, it will remain as peroxide.

i'm sure you can see where this is going.

so one morning, i get my contacts out so i can see. alas, the bottle has tipped over in the night. i think nothing of it - except for having concern that perhaps my contacts would have dried out during the night. they seemed to be fine though.

i get out the right contact and insert it into my eye.

PAIN. OH SO MUCH PAIN.

yes, that's right, the solution had NOT neutralized. i put a contact covered in a peroxide solution IN MY EYE.

so the next step is to try to get the contact out of my eye. at this time, my eye is not trusting me. it knows what happened last time it let my finger touch it. it squeezes shut, keeping in all the peroxidey goodness.

the final result? one red eye.

boy, did i learn my lesson.

p.s. nba season has begun - and indy better be 2-0 in the next minute or so. or else melpie will not be a happy camper.

mesmerized

have you ever just stared at something? something that wasn't really anything at all, for hours? it's easy enough with a fire. but here i am sitting watching the blinds. they're vertical blinds and are swaying in the conditioned air as it escapes from the vent (isn't it wonderful that the technology exists that we can condition unruly and unmanageable air. thank goodness). the blinds are playing a sort of domino effect. one sways into the next and they momentarily become two, and then the pendulum effect carries on and the two separate and the second then continues the cycle. i can't stop watching.

so i heard this wonderful joke this weekend.

q. how do you make a tissue dance?

a. you put a little boogie in it.

*giggles uncontrollably*


that is a funny joke, don't you agree?

when it was told to one of the constant houseguests at my boyfriend's, i was informed that this joke was rather disgusting and repugnant.

some ppl just need to learn how to laugh.

lives of the saints

by nino ricci

interestingly enough, this book was made into a tv mini-series this year. i never did get around to watching it, especially since the book was sitting on my shelf still waiting to be read. i usually prefer reading the book to the film/television version and find it's usually best to read before watching.

so anyway, this was a pretty quick read. and very interesting as well. it was set in the italian mountainy type area in the 1960s. the village was basically inhabited by peasants and didn't have electricity or anything like that. it's strange - i would have imagined that electricity and cars were the norm by 1960 - but that's a rather north american assumption, isn't it?

the story is narrated by a 6 - 7 year old boy (it occurs over a year) whose mother is ... well, a little loose. his father lives in canada and she's gotten a little bored in his absence, i suppose you can say. since it's such a small and pious town, she becomes subject to quite the ... ridicule and meanness, as does little vitto. he sometimes seems to understand, but oftentimes does not.

however, through the eyes of the child, you can figure out what's going on. while he might not understand, he still reports what he's seeing, hearing and experiencing. his mother counts on him for a lot, even if it's something over his head. like, when his mother is in labour and he's trying to find a doctor. he keeps telling ppl that his mother has pains. it's on a ship during a storm - so the nurses and doctor keep telling the little boy that everyone has pains at the moment and his mother is nothing special. it takes quite a while for him to explain what is happening. he doesn't really understand that his mother is even pregnant. he knows that she has a warm swelling in her belly, but that's it.

sometimes while we think that children may be too young to understand, it can be important to explain to them what's happening. you don't have to explain everything, but the basics are probably important to know. children are a lot more sensitive and observant than we think. if things aren't explained properly, they will believe things that are possibly quite untrue and which may cause them to be fearful of events they should not be scared of. but maybe that's just my feeling. who knows what i'll think when i'm a parent.

harry potter - and the half-blood prince

by j.k. rowling

wow ... she actually moved me. she made me want to cry. luckily, i was, riding the rocket, so to speak and this made me hold the tears back. i couldn't believe how fast it flew by, especially relative to number 5. it took me a bit longer than it should have to get to it since i had made this silly decision to re-read the five books leading up to hbp. i thought that this should take me just a couple of months. if i get into a good groove, i can finish one of those books in a day or three. but, the the weeks leading up to july 16 flew by and when it arrived i had only just cracked open prisoner of azkaban. i think that reading the books one after another was a good idea. it refreshed my memory and actually made me have a new appreciation for books 2 and 5, which i was rather disappointed with before. to go with my whole book review theme which i've been trying to keep up with here, i *should* have written an entry for each book. but i have decided to just write something up for first-reads only. that's my story, and i'm sticking to it!

so to get to the meat of it all ... my questions (warning, spoilers ahead... but if you haven't read it by now .. you better have a darned good reason):



1. does the sorting hat really only sort purebloods into slytherin? and was snape a slytherin as a student? i believe he was, but i can't remember for sure. anyway, if the sorting hat only sorts purebloods into slytherin, how did snape get put there? i understand why riddle was put there (slytherin's heir .. he's gotta be in slytherin) and harry had some of voldemort's slytherin-esque powers transferred to him, so that's why the hat wanted to put him there ... but if snape is *really* a half-blood, then why did he get in there? is there something about his heritage that we don't yet know?

2. what reason did dumbledore have to trust snape? there *has* to be a reason. and did dumbledore actually ask snape to kill him in the end? through their legilimens powers? i think dumbledore recognized the fact that harry would never be able to fulfill his own destiny while dumbledore was alive. now that dumbledore's gone, harry has no one else to turn to than himself.

3. will hermione and ron actually skip seventh year at hogwarts? will hogwarts open next year? and if it doesn't open next year - does this leave room for an 8th book? the 7 book series has been defined as such due to the fact that there are seven years at hogwarts ... but if they spend a year not at hogwarts ... can they go back? are hogwarts students allowed to take a year off? hmmm ...

4. WILL RON AND HERMIONE GET TOGETHER ALREADY?!?!?

5. so is r.a.b. really regulus black? or is j.k. just trying to trick us? and if it is regulus - how come he was trying to destroy the horcrux? how did he know about the horcruxes in the first place? although, slughorn did know about them and regulus was one of his favourites - maybe he told regulus too. and also - voldemort killed regulus himself, which means regulus must have done something super bad (perhaps destroy a horcrux? or maybe regulus was killed by voldemort's horcrux, which means that he was indeed killed by voldemort) ... and does this mean that regulus was actually good? was he a double agent?

so j.k. do you have any answers?

the power of 2

it's interesting what a difference a couple of months can make. it's also quite the change - becoming one of a couple. i swear i had something to say here - but i forgot it - and now i've been sitting, staring blank faced at the screen. guess that means it's time to get a couple more hours rest.

the days of our lives

wow ... it seems like so much has changed since the last time that i wrote. but summer is the time for change and newness, right? oh wait - my bad, spring is the time for those things. but we can pretend, right?

it's time to finally face the fact. i'm growing up. it's been almost two years now that i've had a job. and not one of those summer jobs you have when you're growing up - but a real, live adult job. well, on second thought, the job isn't alive, but still, it's real. i'm making a living and i have a career? *gasp*

and now .. my friends are getting married. actually, as of last weekend, one of my best friends *is* married. and next weekend, another one will be. it was weird - today i was talking to someone and had the chance to refer to married friend number one's significant other and i said "my friend's husband" .. that's right - husband!

it is that time in our lives though. as surreal as it sometimes seems. we're not growing up anymore. we are grown ups.

p.s. warmest congratulations to miko & kris and best wishes to cath & pat. as they say in the fairy tale books, may you live happily ever after.

deeeeeee-troit basketball

i know i don't like to write about things that i do in my day to day life unless their anecdotal nature serve as a perfect segue into some other type of thought pattern or idea. heck, who am i kidding - my rambling makes every anecdote turn into some sort of presentation of my ideas and/or opinions.

but, apparently i haven't written anything lately and i'm being encouraged to write something now. and what is my subject matter? my wonderful weekend trip - to make a bridget jones reference for those of you who get it - it was a mini-break - and you know what a mini-break means ... (perhaps i shouldn't write this here lest i be required to explain this later).

so this sunday i made a voyage. a voyage to another world. a world we call the united states of america. whatfor you ask? well, if your powers of deduction are a little dull - or you didn't read the title of my entry, for a detroit basketball game. game 5 of the nba finals to be more exact.

after hiking up for a few miles, we finally found our seats in the noise zone. we weren't at the very very top of the nosebleeds, but quite close. still, the view was excellent - on all angles. well, except for the drunk, balding, touchy michigan man beside me who kept insisting on squeezing my knee and then giving my new partner in crime a high five.

i don't think i've ever been somewhere with such energy, passion, and well - noise. imagine noisemakers named thundersticks. now, just one pair of these sticks makes quite the ruckus. now imagine 20,000 of them all in synch. phenomenal.

it's amazing to see such a huge group of people brought together with such passion. high-fiving strangers, giving each other hugs. now if only we could get that energy bridled for things other than sports events. think of the possibilities!

but now it's game seven and i must return to watching it.

in closing, i have but one word:

SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!!!!!!

the gulls

there's nothing like kicking back after a long day at work, battling through the dense smog that just sticks to your skin. but finally, dusk comes and the air begins to cool. the breeze dances through your hair. ah, relaxation. there's nothing like it. it's strange how kicking back on the patio seems so much more productive than passing out in front of the predictible programming that is supposed to serve as entertainment these days.

it's then i notice something strange.

sea gulls.

tons and tons of sea gulls.

they're circling, they're swooping, they're diving.

think the birds, but with white sea birds as opposed to black crows. wait, was it crows in that movie? they were rather mesmerizing though. they were flying willy-nilly. i can't help but look up ... but ... but ...

i can't even type it! the dangers of looking up, they're unspeakable. best described by an onomatopoeia - *plop*

but don't worry, your fearless heroine was not a victim of the bird droppings. they tried their best, but she was too quick - either that, and more probably, or their aim was not so good.

we finally figured out what was causing the birds to swirl. it seemed quite odd that they were around - we aren't particularly close to the water or any huge piles of refuse. it's the bugs. the big huge bugs. the gulls were hunting them. picking them off. eating them up. it's amazing to see how nature works.

*rereads story*

yep ... i do need to practice writing more. too lazy to edit now though.

fuzzy vision

so you know how on your license it's supposed to say whether or not you need to wear glasses while driving? well, i checked off the little box on my renewal form that said i need corrective eye wear and they didn't put that onto my license. i hope i don't get in trouble for that. but really, that's not the point of this rambling. although, it has something to do with the point ... it is not the point itself.

so, theoretically, if you get stopped by the cops while driving and they look at your license and it says you need glasses, you can get some sort of fine, right? but what if you're wearing contacts? will they make you take out a contact right then and there to prove that you have them in? b/c if you do that then how do you get them back in ... you don't wanna put a dirty contact back in your eye!

does this make sense? or should i cease to write anything when i'm half asleep?

friends forever?

i was talking to my friend today - about having relationships with a co-worker. the general agreement was that if one was to pursue a relationship with a co-worker, one should go into it with the intention of it being long-term. that's the only time it's really worth the risk. if you don't think it's going to work out with someone that you have to work with, that you have to see every day - why chance it? it will just make for very awkward situations. unless, of course, there's a set of guidelines set out beforehand about the relationship - so that there's not too big of an emotional attachment (although, it's hard to really put guidelines on emotional involvement ahead of time).

i think this most likely applies to pursuing a relationship with friends as well. or in taking a relationship with a friend to another level, whether it be the relationship type level or friends with benefits. if you're good friends with someone , you can't pursue a relationship with them unless you think it'll last. or that's my feeling at least. especially if it's a close friend, with whom you have a special bond. that bond better be worth risking. it's gotta be something you're sure about.

you never know how it will end. will it be like when harry met sally or more like my best friend's wedding?

is it worth it?

the white bone

by barbara gowdy

it's been quite a while since i've read an animal-based novel - one where the narrator is an animal and it all takes place in that animal's world (eg. one of my all-time favourites, black beauty or watership down) if you didn't figure it out yet, the white bone is much in this strain. the setting: the world of the she (i.e. elephants) in africa.

the elephants have been facing two different problems - they're being hunted for their tusks by "the hindleggers" (i.e. humans) and there's a horrible drought. to survive this all, they are looking for "the safe place". the legendary "white bone" will point them in the direction of the place. so really, they are in search of the white bone.

it was a rather interesting novel ... to say the least. it was educational, much like the discovery channel is. but, some of it was just a little too much. i don't watch the animal stuff on the discovery channel for a reason. i don't find the mating rituals of animals all that ... fascinating. and there was quite a bit of talk of that in the book.

what i did like though, was the creation of a whole belief system. it was the world of the she. they didn't give birth, they simply had calf tunnels dug through them. the bulls were nothing but diggers. the she-ones (i.e. elephants) saw themselves as the superior creature. but every animal had a name for itself - they all thought they were the superior creature. i can't think of any of them right now, but i found it interesting. the way that every creature thinks of itself as the best - humans are no exception.

also, the she-ones thought humans were evolved from the she (which is interesting b/c that put humans on the same intellect level as the she-ones); two elephants were on a trek once and so hungry that they ate the flesh of another animal (that is seen as one of the hugest sins ever by the she-ones) and thus turned into hindleggers.

i find it hard to take novels taking place in the animal world and narrated by an animal as a really adult novel. but that's just my book snobbishness shining through, i suppose. why am i a book snob? i don't think i really have the right. ah well.

sloth

i always knew that i could be rather lazy, slothful even, but i never realized just how lazy i was - today it dawned on me.

i just took a shower. i'm in my towel-robe. and i just sit here, doing nothing. i'm apparently too lazy to change into clothes. isn't it great that you can freely admit to these things on the seeming anonymity that is a blog?

p.s. aren't saturdays great?

paper

so why is it that paper comes in packs of about 500 pages (printer paper that is) .. but printers never fit a full pack of paper - so you have like 30 pages left over?

just wondering.

the saga continues

so i got my phone back, i thought everything would be wonderful. everything would be fixed. alas, it was not.

the same old problems started occurring. then, a new problem arose. according to my call history i received a call on friday april 10 and on sunday april 10. according to my calendar (yes, i checked - just in case), this is impossible.

so back i trudge to the store. return my phone once again. get a loner phone once again (this one is silver and flips ... it's not too bad) ... except ...

well, i tried making a call on the phone tonight - and it appears that it wasn't activated. yep, that's right .. they gave me a phone that i can't actually use. and out there in lala land, if anyone was trying to reach me on my cell phone, they wouldn't be able to. at least i have a phone period, so i can pretend to be cool by pretending to make and receive calls on the unactivated phone.

thank you telus, you really are wunderbar.

the raccoons

do you remember the show "the raccoons" from back in the day. i'm pretty sure it was a canadian cartoon - it had something to do with promoting environmentalism, if i remember correctly. i was a fan of the show mostly b/c one of the raccoons was called melissa .. it's always fun to have a character on tv to share a name with. (although, they do seem to like to use my last name on law & order, and it's not always a good thing. i don't like when the characters that share my name are the perpetrators of crime). but back to the raccoons. on that show they were so cute and helpful and funny! and sometimes bert was just downright goofy. why did the cartoons lie to me? WHY?

there are quite a few raccoons that seem to like to gallyvant around my neighbourhood. they have decided to take over the neighbourhood as their own, i fear. luckily these raccoons are not quite as big as some of them that i've seen occasionally lying on the shoulders of the country roads. still, they're nasty little critters.

yesterday, i was venturing out of my humble abode and saw one removing a garbage bag from a garbage can and then proceeding to tear through it. it's interesting to watch them actually do that. usually, i just see the evidence that that's what they've done, never have i caught one in the act. then on my way home yesterday evening, one opened my neighbours gate and was cavorting on their porch ... this wouldn't be so alarming except that they're porch is attached to mine!

this is just an introduction for my final story though. i was returning home the other night and i looked up ahead of me and there was a raccoon standing on the sidewalk. he was staring something down. i kinda stamped my foot - he puffed himself up. great, i thought - now i've angered the beast. so, i scampered over to the other side of the street. then, i saw the other one. he was in a tree, almost eye level with me. he was staring down critter number 1.

lessons learned? never get in the middle of a raccoon fight.

p.s. what's up with old navy commercials. do they realize how annoying their ad campaigns are? the latest one, bust a tun (as in tunic) ... dear me! it's just wrong! ever so wrong!

fierce invalids home from hot climates

by tom robbins

so i finally finished the book. it took me a while.

after gettin over the rather show-offy nature of the prose (which apparently was infectious), i rather did enjoy the book. some of the situations were just bizarre. i rather like bizarre situations. the absurd. situations and events that you can just take a step back and look at and smile. b/c, you've gotta be able to smile at life.

and i guess that was the point of the book - you can't take life too seriously. one of the things that separate humans from the other mammals... that along with curiosity and sexuality and some other stuff.

the book was a rather amusing combination of crazy highjinx (is that redundant? is there any highjinx but the crazy kind? and while we're on the subject - can you have just one highjink? or one shenanigan, for that matter?) and a lot of talk about religion and the relationship with life beyond what we currently know.

so ... if you aren't easily offended - i say read it. it provides some ideas that are a little different than your usual ones (i might provide some quotes tomorrow .. if i get around to it). but in the end, i still think robbins is a show-off who uses his writing as a type of ... type-writer masturbation - rather narcissistic. but i guess, if i were him, i'd do the same. he can be quite clever.

ring ring

oh cell phones ... it took me quite some time to enter into the world of mobile telephone communications. and i must say it has been handy at times. (although, at other times ... it just re-emphasizes the fact that i rarely receive any phone calls .. which is ok, b/c my preferred method of communication isn't via the telephone and as such my phone time is generally limited to giving and receiving logistical details regarding a specific activity.) when i finally did make the plunge, i got a cute little phone. it's shiny, it's silver, it flips and has a colour screen (a far cry from the zack morris phone of yore). all was well and good. or so i thought. unfortunately, i've had a few problems with my phone and have been having some difficulty in resolving them.

the biggest problem is my phone's decision to randomly not ring when ppl call me. so i took the phone back to the store. first, the store helper person called my phone and it rang. they said, it seems to be working fine now. i had to once again explain how this was a RANDOM problem. next, i was given the wonderful explanation that the ringer wasn't on - i.e. this problem was caused by my own idiocy. (this just angered me a bit seeing as i had already told them the story that i was holding my phone in my hand, with the ringer on and the phone gave a little beep and i looked and i had missed a call ... i was holding my phone in my hand at the time b/c i knew it had a
tendency to not ring when i was supposed to be meeting someone somewhere, which was the case at the time) ... so i repeated the story of the phone beeping in my hand. i also added that my phone would either be on vibrate or ring+vibrate ... and i often missed calls when the phone was in my purse, under my arm. the vibration provided by the phone is not something that one easily misses. (my purse isn't so large that the phone gets swallowed into a sea of old cosmetics, wet naps and fuzzy mints).

this was not the only problem with my phone. the other two are more amusing than annoying though (like the above). first... sometimes names in my address book would get combined. for example, say i had jane smitherson and mary browning in my address book. sometimes, when jane would call, in my call history her name would come up as jane smithersoning. it was quite strange. the other problem was again with my call history. i've had called come up in my call history as: 4Ú$ |~|~|~| (note, the tildes came up more as just little speckles than actual tildes ... but i think they work well for the example). i found this display rather strange - so i turned off my phone and turned it back on again. this erased ALL my call history. (the strange
display occurred again and all my call history disappeared ... although ... i must say that i did lose my phone for a short period of time and when i retrieved it, all the call history was gone. but that's a story for another time).

so, after numerous failed attempts to return my phone (they had to send it back to the manufacturer ... so they said they would provide me with a loner phone for a month or two until i got my real phone back ... the first few times i went though, they had no loner phones available) .. i finally succeeded last night. it will take 4 - 6 weeks. in the mean time, i get the loner phone.

the loner phone is the most ghetto phone i've ever seen. maybe aside from the old motorola my parents had back in the late nineties, which was probably 1 step up from the zack morris phone - the loner phone might be 2 steps up from the zack morris phone. it's big, bulky and blue (in a bad way - seeing as i usually do like blue). i'm embarassed to use it!

so just a note to those ppl who read this and have occasion to call my cell phone - if you call my cell phone and i'm not in the privacy of my own home (the privacy where i feel comfortable enough to wear yoga pants and knee high shiny red socks) - i might not answer. and to think that i'm stuck with this monstrosity for a month!

*sigh*

alas, what is a lass to do?

one more time?

so, it's that magic time of year. what time is that? the time where all the cute bunnies and fuzzy chicks appear in the stores? (along with all that scrumptious chocolate and most importantly the cadbury creme eggs). well, no ... that's not the time. it's the time when we canadians get to rrrrroll up the rrrim to win!

i think this is my luckiest year ever! so far i've played twice, and i've won twice!
sure, it was just a coffee and a doughnut, but still ... i won! (and i had my first doughnut in forever ... i generally don't like doughnuts, but i figured it was free - so i should seize the opportunity!)

so now i'm trying to decide if i should quit while i'm ahead. right now my winning percentage is 100%! i don't want to mar my perfect record. but then ... what if luck is with me? maybe i'm destined to keep winning - or to win a third time at least (seeing as these things usually come in threes). should i deny myself that chance just to ensure my record remains perfect?

however ... i do still have my free coffee to get. so i guess i'll have to tempt fate once more. wish me luck!

pants

i really think that the british are on to something ... calling underwear pants and pants trousers.

unfortunately, here in north america we have really just the two choices: underwear or panties.

while i can handle the term underwear .. it just seems so ... unappealing ... it's like long underwear, overly practical ... i can't handle panties ... it gives me that squicky feeling - it's rather perverted, pedophilic *shudders*

pants is good though. it's straightforward, simple, no nonsense.

i say we revolt! ppl of toronto, let's call underwear pants! we'll turn this city on its head!

ah, mini travels

so i ordered an ipod mini last week (apparently, when i'm home sick from work and have nothing better to do, i go online shopping).

i decided to track where my little mini has been so far. i think the thing is more well-travelled than me!

it started in china and then ...

- anchorage, alaska
- back to china
- back to anchorage
- to japan
- to indiana
- to new york
- to tennesse
- and now it's in mississauga and released for delivery! YAY!

it should be in toronto by wednesday morning! hooray!

* note: this has been updated to reflect the journey.

tea time

it feels so quiet lately. or maybe it's just me that feels quiet. i'm easily lulled into silence by the music i've been listening to - i withdraw into it.

the trouble is, i don't know into what i'm withdrawing. i'm vaguely aware that i'm thinking, but about what, i'm unsure. it seems rather strange. that my subconscious seems to be more awake and alive than my conscious.

it seems rather paradoxical, don't you think? but then i think we're all paradoxes when we think about it. but individuals are complex creatures - if we weren't walking contradictions, life would be bland, simple.

and really, life isn't simple. there's always some new twist, some new turn that keeps one on one's toes. either that or makes them crawl into bed under the covers until all the craziness is over. but eventually, you've got to come out from under the covers - even if there is a ghost outside your door.

aloof ice princess

i always forget what wisdom there is in being an ice princess. it's all about self-preservation, you know?

(aren't i a ball of optimism?)

p.s. best game of text twist ever - i'm at 231 460 ... then i accidentally clicked on a url my friend sent me and i navigated from the page! DRATS

sons and lovers

by d.h. laurence (i hope i spelled that right ... not in the most sober state of mind right now)

anyway, it took me like a month and a half, but i finished my next book. this time, it was one on my list (my list being the same list as the 100 top modern novels). it was an interesting tale. one of a boy's life being both a son and a lover. i must confess, that the oedipal nature of the protaganist was a little icky.

i guess i just don't understand one having a relationship quite that close with one's parents ... a relationship which makes you want to eschew all other romantic endeavours. it's rather ... well, wrong, don't you think?

overall, the book wasn't bad. it was quite the look into one man's world and the women who surrounded him. a real exploration of what it means and takes to love another and the different types of love that exist. and most importantly, the hate that sometimes comes along with the love.

so in conclusion, the deep thought of the day (i'm unsure if i should share this ... it will really show you all what a geek i am):

you should always pay your taxes with a smile. i tried, but they said they wanted cash instead.

worrisome

is it just me, or does it worry you that:

1. fido is run by a bunch of dogs (according to the commercial at least)
2. the only human that seems to be part of the company takes his advice from the dogs.

at least that marketing campaign isn't as disturbing as the beef lovers commercial (i think it's harveys or burger king, i can't remember which), where a guy goes on a date with a cow ... and sleeps with a cow ...

it's either bestiality or some twisted form of cannibalism (eating your lover and such)

*shudders*

note to self

napping, while one of my favourite passtimes (pasttimes?) can be dangerous. very dangerous indeed!

6:30 p.m. i fall asleep ... i try to stay asleep until morning ... unfortunately, this does not happen

i awake at 9:45 p.m.

now i can't get back to sleep!

this is no good, no good at all!

the true love cafe

ah yes, it does exist ... i have discovered it on my walks through the city

it's really quite the gem! the true love cafe is situated in one of the sketchier areas of town. kitty corner to the true love cafe is a church with a shelter in it and there are often great gaggles of people milling about outside it (the church, not the cafe)

the cafe does its best to class itself up though ... there are hearts spraypainted on the sidewalk bordering the cafe (and not just freehand painting, these puppies are stenciled in pink AND purple)

as further enticement to get you to enter this establishment, they blast great love songs over a rather tinny sounding speaker system ... celine dion seems to be among their favourites ... there's nothing better than walking down the street and hearing "all by my self" blaring from the true love cafe ... i'm unsure if this song choice is supposed to make you feel romantic or if it is meant to make you feel depressed so you'll seek solace in the arms of the true love cafe and perhaps even *gasp* find you r true love!

i have yet to actually enter this magical land d'amour .. but the hand written sign (done most likely with a sharpie) advertising the $1.75 hamburgers is quite tempting ... maybe next week ... or better yet for valentines day (i've gotta find some way to celebrate that day, right?)

ah, the phone

when you make a phone call ... and someone at the end picks up, do you listen to what they say? it makes sense that you would ... making a phone call kind of implies that you are interested in what the person on the other end will say, right?

wrong.

example one:

me: good afternoon, melissa speaking.
caller: hi, riyaz?

(apparently when i say "melissa speaking" it comes out sounding like "riyaz speaking" in a testosterone laced voice)

(this story does continue, but i'm too lazy to continue it right now ... maybe tomorrow)

example two:

our voice mail message says: hi, you've reached melissa & melissa. we're not here right now ... etc etc.

apparently though, this is the same message that the russian embassy leaves on their voice mail.

or one old lady thought so:

"hello ... is this the russian embassy? if it is, i've been having this problem ... "

*just shakes her head*

so just a little note to you all - listen to the other end. there could be information that will be vitally important ... and if you don't listen to it, you may end up looking like an idiot.

haunted?

so i have become increasingly paranoid about a possible haunting in my apartment ... but now i wonder if it's just perhaps someone with a grudge against me trying to scare me. and don't say such a thing couldn't happen

dear indiana

dropping two games by over 20 points... EACH? were you even trying? or were you more focussed on the colts game? maybe you should have asked them if you could have had some of their superfluous points.

geesh, what an embarassment.

good for a laugh

got bored (i just don't know what to do with long weekends anymore) and my room mate and i decided to have some fun and look through online personals ....

here's a profile we came across:

I m lookin some1, who's sexy, educated, n she know how to meet with nice guy's there, fun loving, like to watch movies, muskic, romance, I like to make a laugh, coz, m very funny guy, hehehehhahahahha:) if u R? Pls let's have enjoy c u then with sweet smile:), life is a very beautifull, so pls don't loose it try to enjoy every moment of ur life thanx:)

p.s. he thinks he's "very fine/sexy" ... which of course isn't right ... but hey, i'm sure someone finds him attractive.

just had to share that with someone.

the way the crow flies

by anne-marie macdonald

i figured i would try to write about the books that i read here ... seeing as i've been too lazy to do it in my book journal. yes, you heard me, i have a book journal. i am that much of a geek. i will freely admit to this.

i found this book rather interesting - it was set in centralia, which is near the first place i ever lived (sure i moved from exeter area when i was 1 ... but my grandma and aunt remained in the area). also, it was loosely based on the steven truscott story. although, that happened by the military base at vanastra, on the opposite side of exeter.

unfortunately, because it was based on a story with which i am rather familiar, i was able to anticipate what was going to happen. still, it did make me keep turning the pages. and make one hypothesize about what actually happened in the real case. unfortunately, the real perpetrator of the crime has likely passed away by now. no one remains that knows the real story. it will be interesting to see if the courts will re-try steven truscott. they may try to avoid doing that b/c he will be found "not guilty" ... which means they wrongly convicted a 14-year old boy (he's been out of jail for many years .. seeing as it's widely accepted that he did not do it and he was one of those model type prisoners) ... but if he is found not guilty, he can sue the government for wrongful conviction. what kind of price will the court put on the innocence lost of a 14 year old boy who was tried as an adult and kept in jail for so many years? that's something that's irreplaceable, that's priceless .. to even begin to try to make up for it will require astronomical sums of money.

anyways, back to the literature at hand. i don't know if i'm really qualified to "review" this book per se ... it was a good read. it explored many issues - the cold war, the lives of many vs. the life of one, sexual abuse, parent-child relationships, homosexuality, etc etc.

it's quite the heavy tome - over 800 pages. there were many carefully picked quotes from other sources to start and sometimes conclude chapters. i'm the type that tends to skim over passages in italics though (i think it's a habit that i picked up from reading textbooks - if it was in a coloured box it might be interesting, but it wasn't pertinent to what you were learning). i wanted the guts of the story and i found i was skimming the rest. i wasn't savouring the literary beauty that was woven throughout it. i should probably read the book again to try to get that.

sometimes i wonder what's more important though, about a book - the basics (plot, character development, etc) or the artistry with which it is crafted. i think the basics are important. they're what compel you to continue reading the book. i've read some pieces before that i continued to devour voraciously despite me disliking the style of writing. for me that's what the most important part is. but then, i'm not as educated as i would like to be in the way of the word. although, that can be a good thing. i read for enjoyment not to analyse. it's not an exercise for me, it's a leisurely activity.

so in closing - the book was good. great imagergy, good storyline - it didn't feel like you were reading forever to get nowhere (*cough* the order of phoenix *cough*). definitely worth the read.

sorry

so i'm watching bet's countdown of the top 100 videos of the year.

we're on number 55, and it's sorry 2004, by american idol's own ruben studdard.

i had never really listened closely to the lyrics of this song before. i thought that the 2004 was added to the title to maybe differntiate it from another song called sorry ... i believe i was wrong though:

Girl this is my sorry for, 2004.

And I aint gonna mess up no more, this year.

I'm 'a take this one chance,and make it real clear.

I'm sorry for May and I'm sorry for June (for real)

and I'm sorry for July (i am) in case I dont tell you.

August, September, October, November 'till your December.

I'm Sorry. (I'm sorry 2004)

now, is this supposed to be a sweet song? heck, if you have to apologize to someone for the whole YEAR ... you really don't deserve to be with them! no wonder the girl doesn't want you anymore .. who cares if you've apologized 1 million times ... if you did so much wrong that you had to apolgize not for just one whole month, but for 12 of them ... apologies just can't fix that, ruben - in your words, i'm sorry.

learning curve

so tonight i got together with the 204 girls (those are my waterloo homies, holding it down, ya know) for our christmas getogether (gettogether? get together? hmmm) ... we exchanged stories, laughs, presents and most importantly we had our cake and ate it too. good times all around.

anyway, we were talking about dating and guys - subjects that girls inevitably turn to - and my one friend told me that for christmas she was thinking of getting me he's just not that into you or whatever proper title it may have .. she resisted b/c she thought i might be insulted (rightly so). my other friend joined in and said that she too was considering getting me that book for christmas (she too decided not to b/c i might be offended).

do you think my friends are trying to tell me something?

(apparently it's supposed to be lighthearted and interesting and stuff ... or so they say)

it got me thinking though - re-evaluating my dating history.

i was out with some friends a few weekends ago, and bumped into this rather pretty boy. he was not the quickest boy on the block though ... so we will call him pdb (pretty, dumb boy - it works with and without the comma in there) ... anyway, when i was with my friends, pdb walked by and talked to me for a second. after, my friend asked me who the guy was. i said it was just the pdb (of course i used the full length name for the pretty dumb boy) and my friend said, "so just your type then"

was my friend right? had he pinpointed it? ... is the pretty dumb boy my type? i never thought that the pdb was my type. i've gone out with one pdb that i can think of off the top of my head and while i enjoyed the pretty part, the dumb part left me bored and uninterested. but maybe i'm just kidding myself, maybe i am into the pdbs ... or perhaps, i more just seek out the pdbs and that's why i don't tend to date any of them for an extended period of time.

am i just dating the wrong kind of guy? i never thought that i dated any one particular type of guy ... but maybe on some level they are the same. but isn't that what dating is about, to find who is right and who is wrong for you?

i was chatting to a co-worker today, and we were talking about chocolate and how girls like it a lot and how it's a wonderful gift to give a girl ... he said though, that his favourite thing to give a girl was flowers - not for her birthday or christmas or anything - more as a "just because" type gift. i thought about it for a second and realized that i have received flowers from a guy (who is not my father) on two occasions (not counting the silk corsage my date got me for our senior formal/prom or whatever you want to call it)

1. in grade 9, i went on an exchange to quebec for 1 week (it was a 2 week exchange in total, one week spent in ontario and one in quebec). when i returned, there were carnations in my locker (i know, i know ... carnations aren't the nicest flowers, but hey it was grade nine) ... soon after i discovered they were from this guy that apparently had a crush on me (i didn't know what to do with that information and proceeded to virtually ignore the guy until about 0ac ... how mean of me! but i was just a kid! and confused! how do you say thanks but no thanks?)
2. in fourth year university, a guy brought me a gerber daisy on our first date. it was pretty. i dried it - but i didn't do too good of a job of it b/c i think it still broke.

and really that's it (although, i did just remember now that while out with a guy last year at a jazz bar, there was one of those ppl walking around the bar selling roses ... and he bought me a couple .. i think it was more just to get the rose seller to go away though).

is my co-worker right then? is the lack of flowers a sign that i am dating the wrong kind of guys?

so help me then - where do i find the right ones?

boo

i hate my birthday.

so emotional

i'm a girl. we tend to get emotional ... usually it just corresponds with certain hormonal swings, but i've found that as i have gotten older, i'm emotional almost all the time. reading the toronto star's acts of kindness (http://www.thestar.com) makes me misty eyed. the bell christmas commercial actually warms my house. it's sad, but it's true. i hate to admit it.

when i did become emotional?

the myers briggs test always told me that i was a thinker, not a feeler.

i'm a capricorn, i'm supposed to be realistic ... yet sometimes caps can be seen as cold and unfeeling.

so why ... when everything else indicates otherwise ... am i suddenly emotional?

i guess it is soothing to know that i do have feelings though. that's the one good thing.