the challenged-ling

i've been re-reading some old entries. it suddenly occurred to me that i used to tell much better anecdotes. what has happened to these light-hearted tales of my endearing klutziness? am i just lazy? am i more self-conscious? is my mind wanting to write things that are much too serious and close to the heart? in the 30 seconds that i've been pondering, i've decided that i should write down some more of these stories.

the first of which, i shall call "adventures of the wide-legged pants" or perhaps, "lessons learned, off the cuff" ... anyway - it's not really important. the title can come later. now this is a story that combines one of my great loves - shoes - with my every day goal of walking without tripping. of course, i've finally managed to get pretty good at staying upright (while sober, at least) in shoes of all styles, heel heights and on all sorts of surfaces - flat, stepped, slanted, rocky, smooth, etc. so - once you've mastered something, it's good to throw in a new twist, a challenge, if you will - to keep things interesting.

my challenge - unbeknownst to myself - is the wide leg pant with the large bottom cuff. they seem innocent enough, swaying no the hanger - but once you get these suckers on ... er, i should say, once *i* put these suckers on ... you never know what's going to happen. the first such incident happened one day as i was descending the stairs at work. to ensure my pants weren't dragging on the ground, i was wearing a sizeable heel, a very slender pretty one at that. i was navigating the stairs with much skill when, without knowing, i stepped into my pants - the heel sliding neatly into the small fold between the pant leg and the cuff. of course, i found out very quickly as i went to take the next step down and ended up hurtling head first down the last few stairs. luckily, my reflexes aren't horrible and i was able to cling for dear life onto the bannister. but, even with my cat-like quickness, i ended up bruised and battered. (sadly, i was unable to wear skirts for a while - and i do love my skirts - and they're apparently much less dangerous for me).

sadly - i did not learn from the first mishap. i've had a couple more going down steps (once in the subway station - again - my amazingly quick bannister-grasping ability saved me) ... and more recently one time walking up steps. all of these incidents involved the stiletto. but ... yesterday - i reached new heights. i was wearing ballet flats and managed to trip in my cuffs. not because i stepped on my pants - but because i stepped in my pants.

so ... lessons learned?

1. stop wearing dangerous pants;
2. stop wearing dangerous pant/shoe combinations; or
3. wear knee pads under dangerous pants.

i think i may adopt number 3 ...