perceptions

knowledge is powerful. knowledge is indispensable. knowledge is dangerous.

why do i say this? i, the one who is a self-admitted information addict? how can i make such statements against knowledge? what has caused me to turn against it? do i still trust it? do i still crave it?

it's natural to let the knowledge of the past inform opinions of the present. sometimes we have to learn things the hard way and hopefully that experience keeps us from repeating our mistakes. but what about when we learn of the history of others. should that inform our opinions of the present?

i've been reading lately. well, reading more committedly as of late than before ichapod went into his current vegetative state. my books often take place in different times and in different places. lately there seems to be a recurring theme of revolution, rebellion - and of racial division. what's scaring me is that it's starting to make me look at the world differently. in canada, we're so far away from that struggle - from those emotions - from that deep hatred, the passion and need for freedom. it's easy to paint everyone with the same brush. but then you start learning about the past and it changes things. it can make you embarrassed of your own history. it can make you question others' motivations. it can help you understand where others are coming from - but, at the same time, it can make you wonder what's really hiding underneath. what are people not expressing? is everything as open as we would like to believe? does the white snow wipe out the history? how dangerous is our naivety - or should i call it ignorance?

or am i just getting paranoid?

(wow, that's a lot of question marks)

oh, shining torch

after a rather bland fall, the cn tower has once again become a beacon of colour and light. it seems to have really began with the seemingly uncolourful grey cup. the colour schemes that are chosen are usually fairly self explanatory - silver and green for the roughriders, blue and white for when the leafs play, red and green for the coming festive season ... but tonight? yellow and red. am i missing something?

yeah - this is a lame entry - but i was feeling like i wasn't writing enough. i gotta get back in the habit. i'm taking a writing course starting at the end of january. i think i'll have to start now to get those creative juices frozen (they're much like popsicles right now ... time to defrost)

r.i.p., ichapod

i must confess: i do not have the best luck with electronics. or, this is what history is teaching me at least. the latest victim? ichapod - my ipod mini. yes - i still have a mini - it's almost embarrassing to bring out the oversized, yet once so slim and sleek mini. they haven't even made them in over two years.

anyway - a few weeks ago i dropped ichapod, once again. he usually was able to survive these little free falls to the concrete (much more resilient than you or i, for sure). alas - this time was different. after the fall, he started acting funny. i finally was able to get him to turn off - but, when i tried to turn him on again there was nothing. i gave him a couple uh ... taps of encouragement, we'll say - and finally he turned on. but instead of his usual menu coming up - he came up with a rather not good looking face:

i must admit - this was almost as traumatic a thing as when my sim decided to commit suicide. (for the record, i've decided no more virtual people deserve such a fate and have not played the sims since).

now, ichapod has been in this state for a few weeks now. i keep hoping in vain that when i try to turn on he'll be all honkey-dorey (just as when i cross my fingers when i try to turn on my old thinkpad every few months ... you can't accuse me of being totally devoid of hope and optimism).

and what impact has this had on me? well, my walking is now lacking a soundtrack. no pleasant tunes to keep my mind occupied. the result? i think i'm thinking too much. this cannot be good. i think it might be time to bite the bullet and buy a new ipod.

the reform

since apparently many people don't know about this... i thought i'd post (this has nothing to do with my complete laziness and inability to come up with anything interesting or witty to say).

we're having a vote in ontario on october 10th. well, actually - we're having two. one, well, i think the result is a foregone conclusion and if we get it wrong - well, we can always have another go at it in four years ... the other one is a much bigger decision, one that is systemic and could change the way our province is run (of course, this would seem to assume that people pay some attention to how the province is run ... but it seems like fewer and fewer do ... either that or i'm just getting increasingly cynical?)

so the decision? well, it's on electoral reform. basically - do you want to continue to have the first past the post voting system we have now 0r do you want to change to a mixed member proportional system whereby the parties get to top up their locally elected members with additional allotted seats so that in the end, each party has about the portion of parliament that the popular vote would suggest they should have. (for more information, click here)

i, myself, haven't figured out how i'm going to vote for this one yet - each side has cons ... especially given our electorate. either way - i think it's important that we look at this issue and vote one way or another. heck, go and vote for the referendum and don't vote for a candidate even - because you can (although, i wouldn't recommend it ... as a citizen of this province, i think it's your responsibility to vote ... and to educate yourself about the vote ... but maybe that's just my pie in the sky ideals).

for the system to change - a majority of districts (i.e., 64 of 107) must vote for the change as well as 60% of people overall.

so there you go - you have over 3 weeks to decide. read up and make sure you go to the booth on election day.

the worst possible question, for $100, alex

so it's always fun introducing a potential boy to my friends. they usually behave ... that is until you put some beer in them.

usually i wait a while to make the introduction - but this time, i decided to be spontaneous. only a few dates in. on friday, i make the mistake of saying - hey, i'm having a pint after work with my friends - just meet us there.

things are going well - everyone is jovial. there's a bit of grilling going on but it's all in good fun. and then ...

"so melpie, are you still obsessed with getting married right now? i know you said your biological clock was ticking and you didn't have much time left ..."

*hits forehead*

thank you jfrost. thank you again.

not fooled

so, i have bought more than a few toasted and buttered bagels from tim hortons in my days here on earth. for as long as i can remember (and probably as long as i was what you might call a responsible adult), i have never seen tim hortons do a bagel advertisement campaign.

and yet now - not only gigantic signs at their stores but i just witnessed a television ad.

now normally, one would think that perhaps bagel stop has started making a big dent on timmie's bagel market - but, for some reason, i think this is unlikely.

for some reason, i think we're being played for fools.

and what is that reason?

well ... the new commercials are advertising that a bagel is $1.05 + taxes ... and i swear, last week, i paid $1.06, taxes included.

no tim hortons, this girl is not fooled.

the epilogue

i just finished reading the final harry potter (don't worry - i'll do my best not to put any spoilers) - and i was thoroughly contented until i came to the epilogue.

i think i have decided that i'm rather un-fond (that being the opposite of fond - apparently i am now using newspeak - i'll really try to avoid it in the future) of epilogues. sometimes, yes, they are good. but that's if they're used effectively and correctly. but ... for the most part, they seem to be used to tie up the story - wrap it in a nice neat little package, if you will.

i seem to think that the masses seem to be craving this more and more. movies are more often ending up with those nice little synopses of what happens to the characters of note in the future - and i'm finding books are doing the same thing.

isn't a book or a film or whatever medium through which the story is told supposed to just be a glimpse of what happens in people's lives. it doesn't have to be the whole thing. the necessary parts of the plot need to be there - but we don't need to see each person's life to conclusion. is this just an extension of "happily ever after"? do we not trust "happily ever after" any more? instead do we need to be told exactly how happily ever after happened (or how the unlikeable character got his or her - for lack of a better expression - just desserts?)

perhaps it's just again the confusion of story telling and writing ... the two are not necessarily the same thing. a good writer doesn't *have* to be a good storyteller - the beauty of the prose and the imagery in and of itself can be enough to carry a book (for me - this is the wonder that is ondaatje) ... and a good storyteller doesn't have to be a good writer in order to become popular (the best example of this, i think, has to be the da vinci code, which i will not go as far to admit whether or not i have read, here).

i guess it comes down to what you're using the medium for. are you appreciating the art that went into crafting the piece ... or do you want pure plot and escapism? and why, oh why, do these two things seem to be increasingly separated? or am i just becoming increasingly sensitive to it and, dare i say, cynical?

measurement park

have you ever wondered just how tall you actually are? for me, it doet matter how many times i do it, i still want to see how tall i am. well, luckily, the city of toronto also shares this wonderment and as a result, measurement park! it's replete with muskoka chairs, just in case you get tired standing next to the various poles to see how high you measure in centimetres.

but really - why stop there? i want more measurements - i want weight, i want volume, i want iq, i want self-worth, gosh darn it!

and that's what it really comes down to - doesn't it? we are always looking for the approval of others. we need to make sure that we, well, in short (or in long - depending on which is more beneficial at the time), measure up. whether it's to be above average or to just meet it - we want to make sure that we are there.

i don't think there's anything wrong with trying to measure up - but i guess the real question arises as to - what are we trying to attain? who tells us what we are trying to attain? and do they have any idea what they're talking about? all i can say, whoever they are, i hope they did their fact checking.

an experiment

im rather fond of punctuation and am a great proponent of its proper use it helps us communicate better and helps us understand each other better assuming tha tyou see communication and comprehension as two separate things as i do so as an experiment i decided that i shall not use punctuation i dont know how long i can last at doing this because it is very automatic for me to put in the apostrophe or my beloved ellipses but i shall perservere and all of this is as an example and an urging to all you readers out there to use proper punctuation its kind of funny really because when i type i dont utilize capital letters because well lets face it its mostly because im lazy too lazy to even hold down the shift key while im typing and im sure that someone would argue that its rather hypocritical of me to eschew capital letters but be such a stickler for punctuation but i must say that i think that punctuation is the more important of the two while capitalization gives one a visual reference for how important one thing might be to another and i guess a sort of visual clue for the beginning of a thought i would argue that punctuation is much more important it can also give you the visual cue for the beginning of a new thought simply because it is used to denote the end of the previous thought it is also necessary for the expression of thoughts while not having a capital is unlikely to change the meaning of a sentence generally at least a misplaced comma can make things much different commas are important in writing because they allow you the writer to provide a guide to the reader readers will always take what they want from a piece but as a writer you want to at least nudge them in the direction you were thinking or maybe thats just my wishful thinking i was going to end here with a period but then i rememberd how i wasnt using any of those so ill just stop full stop instead ciao

exciting news!

looks like lauryn's back for real this time. an actual new single (lose myself) came out on tuesday and she's planning an 8 country tour for the summer of 2007 and the next album, call me miss hill is reportedly slated for release in the fall or early 2008.

so - it looks like it's for real this time. i hope she doesn't disappoint.

oh, hilde

back in the day, i used to watch a lot of trading spaces - and when i say a lot, i mean it. as a university student, there's only so many decent things on decent day time television that you can use as distractions from your work. plus, i thought ty was so dreamy. now, i've come to my senses and see him as just a *tad* creepy and a little more than a *tad* annoying. but, as usual ... i'm getting distracted from the entry at hand.

so, i'm sure that we all remember hilde. hilde was the crazy one (who used wine labels as wall paper in a teetotaler's kitchen), the super experimental one (straw and/or moss as a wall covering, anyone?), the sometimes not far sighted one (cloth flowers to cover a bathroom wall? stuck on with hot glue?). and then there was that time that she made a room into a virtual circus tent. large panels of red alternated with large panels of white. hmm .. i think it was hilde, at least. she seems like the one that would be just so inspired to do that.

it's funny - some parts of society like to contend that television doesn't affect us. but if it doesn't affect us, why have i made one wall of my new room a circus tent? why?!? of course, mine it's so carnival-esque - the panels are chocolate brown and raspberry - but the general pattern is still there, when they're closed at night at least. (i'm not a fan of having the whole west side of the apartment/condo building beside me be able to see me in my bedroom at night).

and let me say, that the inspiration has not ended there. i think i'm now going to start a campaign to get raspberry ripple fudgsicles. what a wonderful tickle for the taste buds on a hot, summer day. if they made it, i'd sure buy it. (hey marketing/product development blog-trolls - take note! pleeeease). mmmm .... chocolate raspberry ....

invisibility cloak

i'm finding this very unsettling - especially due to the frequency in which this keeps happening.

earlier this week - i had an early morning appointment. the office that i was supposed to have the appointment in had been moved though. truth be told, i was there before the office actually opened, but seeing as i was supposed to have the first appointment of the day, i thought that this was quite prudent.

i went up to where the receptionist was and stood, patiently waiting. i got nothing. not even an acknowledgement. finally, i had to wander elsewhere to get someone who would actually help direct me to where i wanted to go. so i end up in a different building, with a different receptionist. she's chatting away to someone in this back office. i stand there, again, patiently - although, as the time goes on, i get increasingly loud to try to let them know that i'm there. and still, no acknowledgement of my presence! after about 5 minutes (after the office had technically even opened) - they finally decided to talk to me. and then later they seemed peeved that i had come late (*shakes angry fist*)

so that was the first time this week. and then today it happened again.

i went to get coffee this afternoon. i wandered into my local timothy's (and i'm pretty sure i'm not going there again - which is sad, because i like timothy's, apparently just not this one). there were two people working behind the counter and someone at the cash trying to pay and collecting the drinks that she had ordered. i waited - standing aloofly in front of the long counter. and nothing. but that was not it! then someone else comes in and they ask to serve her! then after they finish with her, they ask for my order - almost as an afterthought. i was a little peeved by this time. but still, that's not it. i'm waiting for my drink and waiting to pay in front of the cash. someone else had come in and ordered a coffee after me. they rang in his order first - despite the fact that i was standing there right in front of the cash register - then they had to operate around me. let it be known, melpie, was not impressed. and her patience has been tried for the last time this week (luckily, there's less than 3 hours left in the week - so the patience metre will fill up again by tomorrow morning)

conrad black

so for some reason, the star has decided to refer to conrad black as just "black" in many of their headlines. other papers use "conrad black" ... and for good reason ... so far, i've read about:

- black's lawyer attacks trial's first witness
- poor black was duped, trial told on opening
- black in jail? don't count, er lord, on it
- black's big battle starts today
- black jury begins to take shape
- black's unlikely peers
- no sympathetic victims in black case

and my personal favourite: black as a bandit

it really seems reminiscent of the headlines i'm reading in my current novel, native son, about the murder trial of bigger thomas, circa 1930 chicago. funny how the words stay the same - but the meaning can change so much

on the move ... again?

so i had this weird dream the other night - i dreamt that my room mate had bought this fabulous place that was basically a mansion of a condo unit. it spanned from the east to the west - full windows on both sides and was gorgeous. i kept wanting to ask how much it cost - but thought that'd be rude - so i just had to be satisfied with the comments of how good of a deal she got on it.

apparently - i'm psychic. or semi-so at least. it looks like i'm moving again - but the question is - where? i'm at the point where i could perhaps purchase something myself, but will i have that in time? should we give our two months notice? and plus, her new place will have two bedrooms - one of which she wants to rent - so i *could* just continue playing the renting game.

i've got 23 days to figure it out - 3 weeks. yeeps. why is march going by so fast?

welcome winter

now, i know this is a little belated - but without my lovely xavier, i haven't been able to write about this. but here goes ...

i keep getting told that i'm nuts - but i like winter. i ignore the fact that it might be -34 degrees (celsius) - i like it. today i was walking outside as the temperature was dropping, and i couldn't help but smile (perhaps it was the snowflakes in the air - i find the snowflake smell intoxicating).

as much as the cold does bother me (clinically so even) - i don't know how i could do without winter. it's a breath of (sometimes overly) fresh air. the fluffy white snow seems to clean everything and make it brand new again. then it melts away and the green comes out - what's more wonderful than that?

last week, i had to walk through the park to the old industrial building that's full of sand and volleyball nets. no one else had walked through the freshly fallen snow. it was beautiful. the lights from the baseball field made everything glitter. it took everything that i had to not do a backwards leap into the snow and commence making angels. come on - you know you've had that urge too - with all that undisturbed white stuff out there - you just gotta do something to it, don't you?

fuzzy vision

so, first, let's welcome xavier home. he has had a few difficulties in the past few weeks - but he's back from rehab with a brand new motherboard, dvd drive and lcd. nope, there wasn't too much wrong with him.

i think that my vision is suffering lately - you know how they have the added security feature in many sites now where you have to type in what you see in the box to verify that you are indeed a person. well ... i've been having a lot of problems figuring what's in the boxes lately. why must they make them so tricky? i feel somewhat wrong when i have to click the area that's for the vision impaired ... but hey, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

good bye cruel world

ok, don't freak out. but .... i'm not going to be around much in the next two to three weeks. xavier has checked himself into rehab. i think i might cry. but, i'll be back, ya'll. don't you worry. in the mean time, i guess there's always the *shudder* phone.

word to the wise

just because wine comes in a little bottle and looks like a cooler, does not mean it should be consumed as such.

ow.

the love tap

so i rented a car today to make my way home for the wonderful stagette *tries to hold in enthusiasm*

anyway, once i picked up the car, i realized that i had forgotten some stuff at home so i had to drive back there. gotta love fighting saturday morning traffic (with the lazy shoppers wandering here and there along the streets) ... ok, there was a brief interlude in this all ... and now it's sunday night - but i shall recommence the story telling anyway.

so i'm driving down the street and have to stop at a red light - there's one car in front of me. while the light's red, i try to put a couple containers with food in them the right way up again (don't want any spillage or anything like that, you know). while i'm doing this, i must have accidentally eased up the pressure i had been applying to the brake.

*THUNK*

yep, i rolled into the car in front of me. the guy whips around in his seat, throwing his arms up in despair and proceeds to get out of the car to survey the damage. i too get out of the car to see how bad it is ... luckily, there's no visible damage. even luckier, the guy seemed to soften as i got out of the car and even smiled at me as i apologized profusely. he even went on to say - i don't think there's anything to worry about, it was just a love tap.

thank god i'm not ugly. that's all i've got to say.

the dog whisperer

so yesterday i was waiting for the elevator (i was doing laundry - which is really the only time i use the elevator - especially since they've started making weird noises and the random ppl were drilling holes in the door ..) ... the elevator going up opened and out bounds this cute little husky puppy.

he quickly scampers over to me and jumps up on me and keeps saying hello. the guys with him thought this was quite odd - because the puppy never does this. then they called the puppy to come back with them to their apartment and the puppy went away, only to return seconds later to play with me again.

it was then that one of the guys commented that he was jealous of me because the puppy liked me so much - and he could never get that kind of attention from the dog. i know, i know - you're thinking, "melpie, don't be so naive - these guys were probably just hitting on you" - but i'm pretty sure they were batting for the other team - if you know what i mean. like, how many heterosexual men go out to walk a puppy in a pair at 10pm at night? weird, i tell you.

so my conclusion? i'm the dog whisperer. watch out cesar millan, it's melpie's time to shine!

thai's my inspiration

so, this is something i've been meaning to write about for awhile ... but really, i figured, who would care. however, i just read an entry in a friend's blog and it reminded me once again about the subject - a subject that i adore - my books.

i'm a bit of a bibliophile - no where close to rory or anything, but i still do enjoy my books. they're like battle scars - i like to keep them as badges of my accomplishments and as reminders of where i've been and where i have yet to go (it helps when i'm trying to do things like stroke books off my "to read" list .... i'm done 22 ... only 78 to go!) ... and i do sometimes donate the books to charity that i find particularly embarassing (now no one has proof that i ever owned the da vinci code or one of the gilmore girls books) but i think that books are wonderful gifts that are meant to be shared. sometimes i wonder if this is a good idea ... they often go into the abyss and i never get my dear friends back. sometimes i look at my shelf for a book that i wanted to see again and it's gone and i can't remember where ... so here, so i don't forget ... i'm going to make a list of the missing. please friends, come home soon!

• oryx & crake
  
• the invisible man
• family matters
• a prayer for owen meany
• in the skin of a lion
• the way the crow flies
  
• testament
• the princess bride
• the white bone
• white teeth
• the last days of summer
• fried green tomatoes
• kite runner
• the fountainhead
  
• the secret diary of grazia dei rossi
• fierce invalids home from hot climates

so now the question is .... do i replace my friends, or simply wait for them to come home?

the loose noose

come on stephane, it's not *that* bad ...you don't have to do yourself in yet ..



(photo courtesy of reuters)

the vaccuuming

so, i think the cleaning people at work have finally taken offense to us constantly complaining about the lack of vaccuuming, or should i say the lack of physical vaccuuming.

today, the vaccuuming began at 4:45. no, this isn't disturbing at all. 4:45 is a good time to start that sort of work because most ppl are long gone from the office by then, right? so then they unlock the offices that ppl aren't in (because some ppl *do* leave that early, just not the majority) and vaccuum them and do a very meticulous job of the hallway .... but i don't think they go back to offices after ppl leave to do them. so if you're in your office when they come, you're out of luck.

yesterday i was in my office when they were doing the dusting (this happens about ... oh, once a year) ... so i missed out on that one too.

hooray for working in a dust bowl.

dear miss manners

i'm having some etiquette issues. first, i'm a huge believer in holding the door open for the person behind you - it's the polite thing to do. i get extremely angry when someone lets the door slam in my face (especially if it's one of those heavy ones that i have to use all my might in moving) ... but ....

lately there have been a few security issues in my building. like, first there were break-ins in the parking garage (i don't have a car so this didn't bother me so much). and THEN .... around christmas, some ppl were caught on video drilling holes in the bottom of the elevator doors. like, what the heck? so to try to make us feel better, they have had a security guard around at night to escort you in the elevator if you're scared. of course, i just randomly run into the security guard in the hallway and it kind of creeps me out (one of those things that if you see the policing then you are aware that policing is needed and become concerned about the reasons that policing is needed) ... and then finally there was the fire alarm that was pulled yesterday morning and aroused me from my sleep (between the snooze times on my alarm). all strange occurrences.

so to get back to the etiquette question ... i'm a little concerned about the type of ppl that seem to be roaming about my building. sometimes when i am coming or going there are ppl in the vestibule thing waiting to come in but that don't have the scan card thing to unlock the door. or just haven't been able to find it in their bag or whatever. so ... do i be courteous and unlock the door for them? or ... do i push the door shut so they can't get in? i'm so torn!

oooh, in an amusing sidebar (although this is the end of my entry - so it's more of an endbar?) .. there is a channel on my tv so we can see the ppl waiting in the vestibule. it can be amusing to watch. anyway, apparently some ppl abuse this. on new years, i witnessed someone trying to get buzzed in and be told that he had to jump up and down on one leg, close his eyes and touch his nose .. hump the carpet .. and that's where he drew the line. i felt bad for the guy at this point and finally let him in. but it made me giggle nonetheless. and .. end end bar.

p.s. espresso at night = bad

two in one day!

so ... my little sister is getting married. we've known about this for a while and the wedding's now less than a month away. crazy to think that in a few short weeks, my sister and i will no longer share a last name. but that's another issue.

anyway, she has a large wedding party (or i think it's a good size at least ... 5 on the bride's side and 5 on the groom's). on the bride's side, it is four close friends from high school and myself. and sadly - i am starting to feel a little isolated (i'm taking much comfort in the fact that i will have friends at the wedding).

all of the girls live in the home town - i live in the city. ok, to be fair, the maid of honour just moved down to the states - but she's still in charge of things. so every once in a while i get a phone call to fill me in on the details of this or that. and then when the event in question happens (for example, the buck and doe), i get to stand around like a doofus and do nothing.

so .... soon we shall have the "friends" shower and the stagette. i am dreading this. i got the phone call about the plans a couple days ago. they think that there should probably be about 25 girls .. and then i was asked if i wanted to bring a friend.

yep. it's gonna be one fun day. *resumes dread*

the winterless winter

one of the things that i've always liked about canada, and have always been sure that i would miss if i was somewhere else, is our incredibly distinct seasons. we have the lazy hazy crazy days of summer with all the heat and the suntanning on the beach then autumn hits and the trees turn spectacular hues of yellows, reds and oranges then just as the mud is setting in, winter swoops in with a wonderful blanket of white covers everything and the world is all fresh again. and of course, we get tired of the cold that accompanies the crystalline beauty and cheer as the snow melts insto spring and we get to witness the fabulous rebirth of green.

well folks .. this has been shattered. what has happened to my seasons? where are the seasons? it's the first week of january and i haven't seen snow yet! ok, i have - but only as flakes in the air or the very fine layer that covers the ground and melts the second you turn your back on it. that's not snow people, that's not snow!

perhaps there's something to this whole global warming thing - but that would just be too convenient (rather than inconvenient as al gore would have you believe). it has me re-examining things. should i be upset when things aren't living up to my expectations or, instead, should i embrace what is given and enjoy the new experiences while i have them. or maybe i should just stop thinking ... afterall, ignorance *is* bliss.