yay me!

i did it! finally!

i moved downtown almost two years ago - and since that time i've been telling myself that i should go to the carlton. i walk by it often enough. i figured it could be a test to see if i could handle going to a movie by myself. sure, going to a movie by myself is nothing like eating by myself (sans book) - but it's all about the baby steps (see the below post).

i can't say that my first experience at the carlton was something to write home about. the movie started late, there were technical difficulties so they had to stop it half way through and i think we kept missing a little bit of the footage. however, they did make up for it by giving me a free pass for next time.

and i'm sure you're wondering what i went to see - well, it was a showing of thank you for smoking, which i found rather amusing - i'm sure it would have been even better had i seen the film in its entirety and if there wasn't a break in the middle and if the vertical alignment wasn't messed up for a few minutes - better luck next time.

confession

what i'm about to tell you all is by no means a signal that i want to get married and have kids right now, as much as it may seem to be. i'm enjoying life right now - and in no way am i ready for that "next stage" of life. i think i still have a few commitment issues to be dealing with - but i assume those will dissipate when the time comes. however, i do feel that i've made a teeny weeny baby step closer towards it.

whenever i've pictured my future, i've assumed i would have 2 kids (except for a phase in high school where i decided i wouldn't have kids. apparently i told my mom about this plan at that time - and now she thinks that i never want to have kids, which works well for me b/c that means no pressure for grandkids - or not yet at least. but then again, i'm only 25 - who knows what the coming years will bring)

so back to my original assumption - i can see these two kids - a girl with long ringletty hair and a cute little boy. both of them had the blond(e) hair and the blue eyes. this works well for me, being blond(ish - more blonde as a child) and blue-ish eyed myself. however - i've always been attracted to dark eyed, dark haired guys - you know the type that would be unlikely to produce a little blond, blue-eyed children. and the blondish, blueish eyed men? well - i never found them all that pretty ...

until now. is this a sign? am i entering a new phase in my life? or am i just bored with the same old type of guy and want to taste a new colour in the rainbow?

wow this is pretty personal - i guess the real question is will i have the guts to publish this? and if i do ... how long will i let it stay up?